By Pat Bataillon
Modern Marvels: Metal made me magnify my mental magnificence; moreover, my magical mindset mirrored manifestations. Accordingly, amazing alliteration ability as an amusing act assumes asinine accountability.
So this is where I wandered to after The Office last night. The Office is a great show and the pudding was there last night for you to sample. After The Office abandoned me I was faced with a void. There was 30 Rock and the unknown. I went with the unknown.
Yes, that Tina woman from Saturday Night Live is on the 30 Rock program. I do not think she is all that funny. She is frequently praised for being the first head female writer on SNL. Congratulations, you were the head writer on a show that has not been funny in five years.
Tracy Morgan was funny until he started this pouty face that I never understood; he is on 30 Rock also. Then there is Alec Baldwin. I have no problem with Alec.
I have never watched the show but it seems like Tina is a director or something working on a live television show. Tracy Morgan is a cast member and so is Alec Baldwin. Basically, this is a failing show about a failing show. To quote a conversation between Jerry Seinfeld and Cosmo Kramer –
Jerry: “Where are you?”
Kramer: “I am at the corner of First and . . . First! I must be at the nexus of the universe!”
We have made it, audience. Finally, after all these years of watching crap on television, we now can watch crap on television about crap being made for television. Amazing, isn’t it? I urge you not to watch this show no matter how may commercials they air during Sunday football and The Office trying to persuade you. And don’t even get me started on Deal or No Deal.
So, Modern Marvels. It seems there have been some brilliant breakthroughs in the field of metallurgy over the last couple thousand years. There was the first bronze way back in the day used for weaponry; we now use it for third place medals for Olympians. We have just passed the greatness of titanium that was used to create the space shuttles; now I use it in my razor blades. I did see some neat stuff, though, like a metal that can be bent into shape and then unbent into its old self by adding hot water.
Whatever use serves humankind down the road, I’m sure it will be pretty fun. Be it razor blades or Olympic medals, at least it will be more entertaining then alliteration and 30 Rock.
Posted on November 17, 2006