Chicago - A message from the station manager

What I Watched Last Night

By Pat Bataillon

All my coaches in high school taught me to never give up, but Monday night TV has gotten the best of me. I’m just not sure I can continue submitting Tuesday columns based on the previous night’s television selections because they are that bad. Monday nights suck.


I searched all night last night looking for something worthy to occupy my time. I found Monday Night Football to be a bore again. The metal working shows on Discovery are still as predictable as they were three years ago when they started. Animal Planet even let me down with a tribute to the Crocodile Hunter. Great entertainer, Steve Irwin. Just a little too much on a Monday night for
me; I like to ease into my week of television-watching.
I even tried cable access; found nothing.
I tried the news channels – there is always heaps of material there – but I didn’t feel like writing about a pedophile. I even checked out the Spanish networks, but the subject matter was a bit too sexual for a Tuesday morning.
USA replayed NBC’s Heroes; I reviewed that flop of a show last week. Seinfeld treated me to a couple fun episodes but reviewing that is like a band covering a Beatles song.
The last time I had this kind of breakdown I turned it into a self-examination of why I write, and came to the conclusion it was for the betterment of the readers. Today, I honestly don’t see it. If someone else wants to write the Tuesday column, feel free.
Someday I will write a Monday column again, but television has let me down for over two months now. I hate to let down my coaches; they would be so ashamed of my lack of hustle. Although tonight was a disappointment on the television, I did read a great article in Popular Mechanics on my couch. After finishing this article I will now be building a two-and-a-half foot high trebuchet next Monday. There was also an article on how to build a potato gun. There you have it – television has made this pacifist into a warmonger, although a vegan one.
Which means we can blame the recent increase in the color-coded threat level on the lack of Monday night television programming.

Permalink

Posted on October 3, 2006