By Pat Bataillon
All my coaches in high school taught me to never give up, but Monday night TV has gotten the best of me. I’m just not sure I can continue submitting Tuesday columns based on the previous night’s television selections because they are that bad. Monday nights suck.
I searched all night last night looking for something worthy to occupy my time. I found Monday Night Football to be a bore again. The metal working shows on Discovery are still as predictable as they were three years ago when they started. Animal Planet even let me down with a tribute to the Crocodile Hunter. Great entertainer, Steve Irwin. Just a little too much on a Monday night for
me; I like to ease into my week of television-watching.
I even tried cable access; found nothing.
I tried the news channels – there is always heaps of material there – but I didn’t feel like writing about a pedophile. I even checked out the Spanish networks, but the subject matter was a bit too sexual for a Tuesday morning.
USA replayed NBC’s Heroes; I reviewed that flop of a show last week. Seinfeld treated me to a couple fun episodes but reviewing that is like a band covering a Beatles song.
The last time I had this kind of breakdown I turned it into a self-examination of why I write, and came to the conclusion it was for the betterment of the readers. Today, I honestly don’t see it. If someone else wants to write the Tuesday column, feel free.
Someday I will write a Monday column again, but television has let me down for over two months now. I hate to let down my coaches; they would be so ashamed of my lack of hustle. Although tonight was a disappointment on the television, I did read a great article in Popular Mechanics on my couch. After finishing this article I will now be building a two-and-a-half foot high trebuchet next Monday. There was also an article on how to build a potato gun. There you have it – television has made this pacifist into a warmonger, although a vegan one.
Which means we can blame the recent increase in the color-coded threat level on the lack of Monday night television programming.
Posted on October 3, 2006