By Pat Bataillon

I watched some pre-electricity television last night at the Cadillac Palace Theatre here in Chicago; I went and saw The Pirate Queen. Typically, I enjoy watching a play, and last night was no exception.
If you’re into some very creative stage design and even more extravagant costumes, this is the musical for you. The Pirate Queen is set on the high seas of Ireland and England. There are cannons and ropes and scaffolding and all other types of ship-related things on the stage. Fight scenes follow between the English and the Irish, and the Irish win. Apparently this piece of theatre is not completely historically accurate.

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Posted on October 27, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

I’ll keep this short and sweet. Last night I struggled to find anything worth watching. Instead of baseball there was rain. Instead of a new Mythbusters they covered old myths and retried them. The Wednesday before a Halloween weekend one would think there would be some decent television on – you know, something scary or haunted or what have you. I had some dinner and relaxed in front of the boob tube and . . . nothing but the same old stuff. Until I hit upon an unexpected source of entertainment for an hour on ESPN2. Thank you Christopher Guest.

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Posted on October 26, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

When we were all little kids we watched Sesame Street on PBS. If you didn’t, you couldn’t be reading this because you wouldn’t have learned your letters of the day from the letter-of-the-day segment at the beginning of each program. If I had watched Sesame Street yesterday, I would have found that the letter of the day was the “O.” How do I know this? Because on Street Ball and Yo (your) Momma (mother) the letter was repeated countless times. After anything of remote significance occurred, the studio audiences of each show screamed “Ooooooooooh.” Sometimes there was such enthusiasm behind this sentiment that you could hear an exclamation point. “Oooooooooooooh!”

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Posted on October 25, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

I caught What About Brian on ABC last night and got to thinking: What about Brian? Brian is a man that is in love with his best friend’s fiancé. He tells him and, surprisingly enough, his friend is a little upset. Brian then tells the fiancé that he is in love with her and she realizes that she has feelings for Brian. I think you can see where this is going.

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Posted on October 24, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

Remember when the Seinfeld gang loved the Mets?
That was what I was thinking when I was watching the baseball game last night. I remember when Jerry had taped the Mets game and was about to watch it when Kramer came in and told him the final score of said game. I also recall the episode fashioned after the Zapruder film movie when Keith Hernandez spit on Kramer and Newman after Newman called Keith a “pretty boy” after the Mets game. That was in the early years of the show. Later, the gang’s loyalties shifted when George became the Assistant to the Traveling Secretary for the Yankees.

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Posted on October 20, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

I watched 50 First Dates last night and I think it has inhibited me from writing anything worth a damn. Once again, Drew Barrymore has caused talent to fail in her presence. I think I just figured out why she is popular! She surrounds herself with decent talent, brings them down to a level of greenhorn, and outshines them. That must be the only reason she keeps on getting work.

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Posted on October 19, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

1. I got a new keyboard for my computer. My last keyboard was attacked by a glass of water that was sitting on my desk. I didn’t spill it on the keyboard because that is not covered by the warranty supplied by Apple. I went to the “genius bar” at the Apple Store this week to get my keyboard fixed. First off, I had no idea that there was a prerequisite to have half-grown facial hair and black hair in order to be considered a genius.

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Posted on October 18, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

Ever since I spilled on my keyboard, I’ve had to write from work. I was thinking about this last night as I watched the unfamiliar Grey’s Anatomy with my girlfriend and all I kept on asking was, “And who are they sleeping with?” Funny thing is that there was an answer that involved more than one person on every occasion.

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Posted on October 13, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

Five to eight guys sit around a table and look at each other with deadpan expressions on their faces. Smoke and alcohol are seeping into their clothes. Some of them are wearing hats and sunglasses. Money is exchanged. The atmosphere is tense. It’s the World Series. Of Poker. And it’s everywhere.

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Posted on October 12, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

Last night I watched some pollution legally and literally go down off the coast of Florida. Florida allowed an old Navy aircraft carrier to sink and create a man-made reef. I do not claim to be a marine biologist, but isn’t it dangerous to put a mammoth, thousand-some-ton hunk of metal into the ocean?
I would imagine so, I mean, it’s metal and rubber and all the other do-dads that go into machines.

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Posted on October 11, 2006