By Steve Rhodes
Recent observations from more TV viewing than should be allowed even in a democracy.
1. Spike got bounced from Top Chef this week, and good riddance. (Lose the hats, dude.) If only he took Lisa with him. (Gossipy irony alert here.)
Ever since Dale was unfairly bounced, I’ve thought Richard was the favorite. But the trusty and talented chefs at Flying Saucer in Humboldt Park tell me that Stephanie is going to win.
2. This commercial grated on me at first, but now I’m a fan. The lyrics are really good, especially when his posse’s getting laughed at instead of looking fly and rolling phat.
3. I saw four Lifetime movies in 24 hours this week. It happens when you work at home and you’re constantly looking for mind-numbing diversions, especially with alcohol less and less of an option in my advancing years.
Anyway, I wrote down two quotes from Sex and the Single Mom:
* It’s better for your heart to make a mistake than to live your life without heart.
* Just because you want something badly doesn’t make it different than what it is.
But this movie had a totally unsatisfying ending; she never should have gone back to Grant Show.
The other movies I watched:
* More Sex and the Single Mom, which picks up the action three years later.
* Love Sick: Secrets of a Sex Addict, based on a true story. IMDB user comment: I expected more.
* Obsessed, in which Jenna Elfman actually gives a pretty strong performance in movie with a few nice twists. IMDB user comment: A classic!
4. I also saw Mary Louise-Parker in Vinegar Hill on CBS. Tom Skerritt was also in it.
I kept wondering what Louise-Parker was doing in this – was it originally going to be a real movie? Of course, she was totally riveting. Mmm, Mary Louise-Parker . . .
5. That Car Commercial: Innocent Sarah in wonderment in the backseat, staring up at New York City through the sunroof. She’s the sweet naif of the group. Ugh.
6. Split Ends: This is a really good show. The culture transfers aren’t all as obvious as ghetto-girl-goes-to-Manhattan-snob-shop, and secondarily it’s a fascinating look at salons.
The one I saw this week featured Dontez, the most unlikable stylist ever. This video clip paints him in a more sympathetic picture than he deserves.
7. Len & Bob: I will never forgive anyone involved in Steve Stone losing his Cubs broadcast job, but I’ve started to appreciate Len & Bob. Well, I always thought Len Kasper was pretty good, though I don’t need the constant reminders of his rock fan credentials or the bad puns (“They’re relishing their condiments!”), but he’s got a very easy voice and obvious knowledge of the game. Light years beyond the crappy Chip Caray.
It took me longer to get used to Bob Brenly, mostly because he seems to hold back from criticizing players and managers when they deserve it. He still wants a managing job, after all.
But he’s not as bad as he used to be on that front – he said recently that if you threw a dart into the Cubs dugout, any player you hit could play outfield better than Alfonso Soriano – and he does have a wellspring of wisdom to impart.
8. That Other Car Commercial: Where the question is, when you turn your car on, does it return the favor.
Ugh. Just hate it.
(“Okay, hold on,” bettysdaddy writes. “My car doesn’t have a vagina. I want to drive it, not bone it.”)
9. She Redecorated Her Husband. See, no matter how much money she spent redecorating her living room – because she was so bored she had nothing else to do with her life – she couldn’t quite get it right. And then she figured it out: she had to redecorate her husband!
And she did. And he became just another guy who looks like his mom dresses him.
(Obscure Craft coins the slogan “Citi: The Henpecker’s Credit Card of Choice.”)
10. The Real Housewives of New York City: Last night they showed outtakes. I just find these people so heinous I am compelled to watch to get a good hate on.
Here is a piece we tried writing comparing The Real Housewives of New York City to The Real Housewives of Orange County and aborted. This was as far as we could get.
NYC: Summer in the Hamptons.
OC: Summer year-round.
NYC: Want kids to go to Columbia.
OC: Want kids to go to Santa Clara Junior College.
OC: Fake boobs and plastic surgery.
NYC: Fake brains and plastic surgery.
NYC: Ivy League.
OC: Junior League.
NYC: Faux Artsy.
OC: Faux Mallsy.
NYC: Sets feminism back 100 years.
OC: Sets feminism back to the Stone Ages.
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Comments – and contributions – welcome.
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Previously in TV Notes:
* Top Shelf, High Life, Elf Food
Posted on May 30, 2008