By The Onion News Network
Husband at Red Roof Inn in Pierpont Bay having affair with woman he met on Craigslist.
Posted on January 28, 2011
Kramerica: The Movie
By TRMUS1C
They were going to put an end to maritime oil spills.
Posted on January 27, 2011
Man On The Street To WGN: Fuck You!
By The Beachwood Local TV News Is A Joke Affairs Desk
Not that man on the street! Find one whose views are innocuous!
Posted on January 26, 2011
Oprah’s Other Secrets
By The Beachwood Celebrity Secrets Affairs Desk
“Oprah Winfrey has discovered she has a half-sister – a Milwaukee woman who was given up for adoption by Winfrey’s mother nearly 50 years ago, when the talk show host was eight years old,” AP reports.
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The Beachwood has learned, however, that this isn’t the only “secret” Oprah will reveal this year. The others:
Posted on January 25, 2011
Onion News Network or Good Day, Wisconsin?
Inside The Onion News Network
By The Beachwood Kindred Spirits Affairs Desk
Posted on January 21, 2011
CNN Apologizes For The Non-Existent Possibility That Andy Shaw Has Incited Somebody To Shoot Rahm Emanuel
By The Beachwood Not Getting It Tracking Desk
Follow the bouncing ball.
1. In the crosshairs.
Posted on January 20, 2011
NBC Now Only Available On Tuesdays Between 1 And 4
By The Beachwood Corporate Media Merger Customer Service Desk
* Comcastrophe: “And so the Obama administration has reneged on yet another major campaign pledge: to halt media consolidation.”
* Al Franken: “The FCC’s action today is a tremendous disappointment. The Commission is supposed to protect the public interest, not corporate interests. But what we see today is an effort by the FCC to appease the very companies it’s charged with regulating. With approval of this merger, the FCC has given a single media conglomerate unprecedented control over the flow of information in America. This will ultimately mean higher cable and Internet bills, fewer independent voices in the media, and less freedom of choice for all American consumers.”
* And yet, you have to look very hard to find this outdated story on the Sun-Times website.
* You have too look equally as hard to find this AP story on the Tribune website. Yawn.
Posted on January 19, 2011
The Weirdness of Walter Jacobson
By Steve Rhodes
As told through his Perspectives.
*
TV Pundits Are Polarizing Us
January 12, 2011
“Rarely do we hear the talking heads talking truth, which is that they’re the ones who are polarizing America and stirring people up.
“So until they know and can explain to us what stirred up the killer in Tucson, the talking heads ought to shut up – me included.”
Posted on January 17, 2011
Hoosier TV: Who’s Laughing Now?
By The Beachwood Border Affairs Bureau
Featuring Chicago black hipster comedian Will Miles, at Morty’s Comedy Club in Indianapolis.
Posted on January 11, 2011