By Pat Bataillon

The hippopotamus – this is what I would want to be if I were an animal in the African wilderness. They get to hang out all the time with their friends in the coolest place in Africa, the watering hole. Where there is water, there are animals from all over, and the hippos are cool with it as long as there is no trouble. When there is a little trouble, the hippos will just kill the troublemaker. Talk about justice! That sets an example for all the other wildlife around the watering hole.

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Posted on October 5, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

Alright, let me get this straight: A Republican congressman from Florida is an online pedophile. He works in the Republican House in the Republican Congress under a Republican President. Somehow this
is the Democrats’ fault. It is a damn good thing I am not a political pundit these days because I would be banished from the brethren for not holding this opinion.

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Posted on October 4, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

All my coaches in high school taught me to never give up, but Monday night TV has gotten the best of me. I’m just not sure I can continue submitting Tuesday columns based on the previous night’s television selections because they are that bad. Monday nights suck.

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Posted on October 3, 2006

It’s got the ease of microwave food, but lets you pretend you’re a real cook.

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Posted on October 3, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

I was at Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Nebraska this weekend for a nail-biter of a game between Nebraska and Kansas. Thankfully, Nebraska won in overtime, so I am good spirits. I get back into town to hear that the Bears have won big over the Seahawks and the Cubs are going to fire Dusty soon. How could this weekend get any better?
It did. Thanks to TV.

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Posted on October 2, 2006

Pat Bataillon is on his way to watch a football game in Nebraska. He’ll watch more TV for us next week.

Posted on September 29, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

I’m going to ruffle some feathers today and then I’ll get to some fun stuff. Last night there
were two huge news stories – Fox “ALERTS” were being issued at a record pace. The first story was that Terrell Owens may or may not have committed suicide by way of overdosing on prescription medicine. The second story involved a gunman who took six Colorado high school students hostage, then killed one of the students and himself as police rushed the building. Now, there are only two more days to nurse these stories until the weekend until there will be something new to talk about, so I am going to beat all the news stations to the punch.

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Posted on September 28, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

Listen to this: There are a few people out there who have super-human powers, and their powers vary from one to another. They live unsuccessful lives and are dealt hardship after hardship. They are always trying to do the most for humankind but never seem to get proper credit. They are almost always hated by society and put into roles that are unfair.

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Posted on September 27, 2006

By Pat Bataillon

So sorry I was not able to write yesterday as I was still too enthralled watching the Monday Night Football countdown clock on ESPN.
See, on Sunday night I figured I would catch up with all the happenings in the NFL on NFL Blitz, ESPN’s new version of NFL Primetime. The show features highlights and “analysis” from all of Sunday’s games. While I was catching up on all the information, a clock popped up in the corner with a countdown to Monday Night Football.
“Wow!” I said out loud. “I didn’t even know that ESPN had Monday Night Football, I could have sworn that I’ve een watching it on ABC for the last three weeks. It sure is great that there is a clock here letting me know that there is exactly 18 hours, 42 minutes and 12, 11, 10 seconds till the big game!”

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Posted on September 26, 2006

Pat Bataillon watched TV last night, but he is not yet prepared to talk about it.

Posted on September 25, 2006