By Scott Buckner
It’s Monday night, undisputedly the worst night of the week for TV watching. So I figure: Screw it – if you can’t beat ’em join ’em. Next thing I know, I’m sitting high atop the nation’s TV programming landfill with ABC’s Wife Swap. It took awhile for the dog with the brandy keg around its neck to lead me back down, but I can tell you this: I have been to the mountain, and if bad TV was bread raining down from the heavens, I’d have enough yeast to give every woman in the Northern Hemisphere a really uncomfortable infection of some sort for months. Or the ability cure every case of the clap that arises during the next 150 years, whichever.
In case you’ve been living on the moon for the past year or two, Wife Swap follows two families with values as mixable as oil and water in a two-week exchange of husbands, children, and lives to discover just what it’s like to live in the other woman’s world. Fourteen days, which is four more than the washed-up celebrities on VH-1’s The Surreal Life have to endure without strangling each other in their sleep. And the wife swapper folks are real people with real lives, so a lot less slack gets cut.
Anyway, here’s the stats on Monday night’s mismatched families with behavioral habits you should be glad you don’t have:
Family 1: The Hamiltons. They live in Ohio. There’s mom Angie, husband Tim, and 14-year-old daughter Chastity. Angie believes all girls (and wives) should be treated like princesses. Literally. She even holds – and participates in – “princess parties” for Chastity and her friends, and believes that princesses (including princess wives) don’t do chores. Or anything much else constructive, either. Shopping, designer labels, manicures, and pedicures totally rule, dude.
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Posted on February 27, 2007
