By The Special Guests Publicity Service

FOX TV REFUSES TO PAY FCC INDECENCY FINES
Claiming Constitutional Right to Air Naked Whipped Cream-Covered Strippers
On Feb. 22, 2008, the FCC issued a Forfeiture Order against 13 Fox TV Network stations, determining that the stations violated the broadcast indecency law when they aired an episode of Married by America that focused on adult-only parties featuring sexually oriented entertainment provided by nude or semi-nude female and male “strippers.”
The FCC had first proposed fining all 169 Fox-owned and affiliate stations a total of $1.2 million in 2004 for airing a 2003 episode of Married by America, which featured digitally obscured nudity and whipped cream-covered strippers. Later they reduced the fines toward only 13 Fox affiliates and a $91,000 fine.

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Posted on March 26, 2008

By Daniel Strauss

Ever wonder if somebody isn’t laughing when Jon Stewart emphasizes a statement with a well-placed four letter expletive? What about when Family Guy features a joke about Lois’s boobs? And then, of course, the ever-unanswered question of whether those whiners are on to something when they complain game shows are rigged.
Turns out all three types of people exist. A site called Government Attic collects complaints sent by these people to the FCC.
Reading these complaints only makes these TV shows more enticing, kind of like when you’re a kid and told never ever to reach for that batch of delicious chocolate chip cookies. Let’s take a look.
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FAMILY GUY
The overall theme of Family Guy complaints are about naughty words and sexually based humor. If you need to remember why you used to watch Family Guy, just read these.
Breasts
“On Sunday, March 12, 2006, my family went to a new restaurant, Quaker Steak & Lube. We were seated in an area that had at least 8 televisions, plus a blaring stereo system. The new television that was facing me was turned on to Fox and had the close-captioning turned on. While I was eating, I was ‘treated’ to the show Family Guy, an animated cartoon show.
“For a 30-minute show, it was chock full of raunch and offensive TV. The storyline revolved around a mother’s attempt to wean the infant from breast-feeding. It went into great detail, including the infant crawling into her bedroom at night to attach a double breast pump to her; the older sons attempting to breastfeed the father; the mother’s issues with engorgement; the father’s attempt to dry her off by ‘jiggling’ her.

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Posted on March 24, 2008

By Kathryn Ware

Our tribute to the 35th anniversary of the debut of Maude continues.
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Season 1, Episode 18
Episode Title: Florida’s Problem
Original airdate: 13 February 1973
Plot: Florida is in a foul mood and Maude can’t help butting in. After a bit of cajoling, Florida admits she’s been fighting with her husband Henry over whether to quit her job as the Findlays’ maid. Maude, always ready for a good fight, jumps to her friend’s defense. After Maude witnesses Henry order his woman to quit and come back home where she belongs, it quickly turns into a battle of the sexes. The sides are evened up when Walter demands that Maude keep out of it. Together, Florida and Maude declare their “Womancipation” from the “yoke of male domination.”

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Posted on March 21, 2008

By Steve Rhodes

NOW UPDATED WITH POST-SHOW MATERIAL!
If you are anything like me, you can hardly wait until Thursday night’s reunion show of Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew.
See, I’m an addiction addict. I can’t get enough. They can’t make more episodes of Intervention fast enough. I’m also a Dr. Phil convert, in part because of his expertise in addiction.
Here’s an idea: The Addiction Network.
Anyway, we’re all dying to catch up with our favorite C-list addicts, even though some of us already know that, for example, former American Idol star Jessica Sierra relapsed to the max.
Here are my predictions.

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Posted on March 12, 2008

By Scott Buckner

I’ve finally figured out how to accept the spectacle, the drama, and the constant variety of sports that is The Jerry Springer Show and everything else that is free daytime commercial TV. It’s pretty simple, really: Switch on Chicago’s own WPWR-TV at 9 a.m., imagine you have nothing hopeful to live for, and then just swim in. Because really, The Jerry Springer Show actually can be the shining beacon of your day if you just quit fighting it and give unrelenting unemployment, chronic alcoholism, and clinical depression a chance.

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Posted on March 1, 2008

By The Beachwood Military Affairs Desk

War, what is it good for? Surprisingly limited programming.
5 a.m.: Revolutionary War
6 a.m.: First World War
7 a.m.: Weaponology
8 a,.m.: Weaponology
9 a.m.: 20th Century Battlefields

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Posted on February 29, 2008

By Scott Buckner

What can you say about an Academy Award show so hopelessly lame and lifeless that even the normally-interesting “Who Died Last Year?” segment is populated mostly by agents?
That was Sunday night’s show in a nutshell. In fact, the most entertaining part of the Oscars didn’t even happen during the Oscars. It came a short time later, when Jimmy Kimmel Live presented “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” in response to Kimmel girlfriend Sarah Silverman’s video “I’m Fucking Matt Damon.”
There have been very few moments in recent television history as piss-your-pants funny as that, and very few people short of Bob Geldof who can put together a reprise of “We Are The World” that has nothing whatsoever to do with starving Africans or broke farmers.
Kimmel’s segment on actors who will probably soon be dead and mentioned during the Oscars (“You will be missed. Eventually.”) was just as priceless.
Sunday night’s Oscars telecast did provide some notable moments, though. Here were some you might have been smart enough to miss.

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Posted on February 26, 2008

By Kathryn Ware

Our tribute to the 35th anniversary of the debut of Maude continues.
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Season 1, Episode 17
Episode Title: Arthur Moves In
Original airdate: 6 February 1973
Plot: As this episode begins, we find a seething Maude already at Code Orange. Arthur is staying with the Findlays while his house is under repair following a fire and he’s long worn out his welcome. Maude is tired of cleaning up after Arthur and Walter’s late night cribbage beer blasts and cooking Arthur’s breakfast to order. Meanwhile, Arthur has monopolized the master bathroom, singing Gilbert & Sullivan and using up all the hot water. The worst part for Maude – and what I suspect has really got her most worked up – is her lack of a love life now that Walter has his best buddy to hang with into the wee hours.

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Posted on February 21, 2008

By Julia Gray

Ten Things I Learned From Watching Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America.
1. Gordon Ramsay is one of the few 41-year old men who can disrobe on camera and not send viewers screaming from the room or cause one’s eyes to bleed out upon seeing the body of a hard-living head chef and TV host. Shockingly, Ramsay looks pretty damn good for someone who spends most of his time sampling inedible dishes from the crappy restaurants he’s been sent to fix.
2. Gordon Ramsay is Britain’s answer to Chuck Norris minus the stumping for a presidential candidate and martial arts expertise. Just like the legendary Norris, Ramsay has scores of special powers and super-human strength that bring kitchen staffs to their knees.
3. Gordon Ramsay can magically sharpen a dull carving knife by just thinking about it.

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Posted on February 18, 2008

By Leigh Novak

Although I tend to annoy easily with the sport of channel-surfing during commercial breaks, if it were not for this attention-deficit idiosyncracy of my boyfriend’s, I would never have stumbled into the merriment of Country Fried Home Videos.
Country Music Television (CMT) is not a channel that I have explored much in the past, for good reason; I don’t care for today’s popular country music. But CMT, much like its mother station MTV, has gotten away from focusing on the very reason for its existence – the M’s of their acronyms. Bad for MTV, good for CMT.
So suddenly, CMT is a tolerable stop on the dial, but only on the rare occasion that Discovery has nothing to offer (or because you decided against watching Bear Grylls in the Sahara desert for the fourth time . . . even if he does wear a pee-soaked t-shirt turban and eat feces in that episode). CMT is now airing shows that are remakes of existing shows on MTV, done with a brazen splash of redneck. The equivalent to MTV’s Pimp My Ride, for example, is called Trick My Truck.

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Posted on February 15, 2008