By Steve Rhodes
“I suspect she also has a future in high public office,” Ebert wrote this week in the preface to his puffball interview with Oprah.
Really, Roger? You too?
I never thought I’d write these words, but this is just how crazy the Oprah phenomenon is: I wish Richard Roeper had conducted that interview.
“[O]ver the last 20-plus years, I . . . penned more negative columns about Oprah than probably anyone else in Chicago (and quite possibly the country), criticizing her endorsement of an utterly impractical cookbook filled with expensive recipes, her embrace of the astounding load of crapola known as The Secret, her often breathtaking celebration of self and her forays into such spiritual crockery as ‘Change Your Life TV,'” Roeper writes.
Amen.
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Roeper, 1990: See if you can guess the bogus Oprah topic*:
A. “Couples Who Have Lost Interest in Sex”
B. “My Mother Stole My Man”
C. “My Husband Works with a Flirt”
D. “When Your Spouse Meets Your Old Flame”
E. “When the Man You’re Dating Appears on America’s Most Wanted”
F. “Marriage: For Love or Money”
G. “Blue-Collar Hunks”
Roeper, 1994: “Excuse me, but I’m having a hard time understanding why this Oprah Winfrey-endorsed cookbook has become the publishing phenomenon of the century. Given her history of yo-yo weight losses and gains, it seems to me that buying a book of recipes from Oprah ‘s chef is like buying a book of relationship tips from Roseanne and Tom Arnold’s marriage counselor.”
*
“Oprah’s popularity transcends all demographics, but the key to her success is her natural ability to relate to average folks who watch her while doing housework or getting their hair cut or folding clothes in a coin-operated laundry. I can’t help but wonder how many of those regular types are going to consistently create dishes such as Pesto Linguine in Fresh Tomato Sauce (‘For a spectacular presentation, top the pasta bowl with a few scallion starbursts’).
“Or how about the Grilled Vegetable Sandwich: ‘This tongue-tingling creation features a colorful and rather monumental assemblage of warm vegetables atop layers of fresh tomato, basil leaves, arugula, roasted peppers, smothered in a spicy mustard-yogurt dressing and spiked with liberal applications of cayenne and black pepper, jalapeno peppers and Tabasco sauce.’ Whew!”
*
“God bless Oprah, I hope she stays slim for the rest of her days, but let me also just point out that her latest weight loss was achieved only after she worked out twice a day for nine months with a personal trainer. She also kidnapped Ms. Daley from a $3,500-a-week spa and installed the talented and personable chef in her own kitchen. Who wouldn’t lose weight with that sort of wildly expensive expert attention?”
Roeper, 1997: “In the opening program of the 1997-98 season, as the world awaited Oprah’s live announcement about the future of the show, she told us that from the very beginning of the Oprah era, ‘The goal was to try to use television and the force of good that I believe is greater than us all – I call it God, you can call whatever you want to – the force of good that is greater than us all to try to help people lead better lives, and I realized now more than ever that this show, for me, is the best way to do that.’
“Well, baloney. The goal for Oprah in 1984 was to get a better job in TV. She arrived here from a gig in Baltimore to succeed Robb Weller as host of A.M. Chicago, a typically fluffy local morning show, and she rose to syndication success and fabulous wealth and fame largely on the strength of energetic, loud, self-centered and often cheesy programming.
“On a 1986 show, penile implants were explored in depth. In 1988, a bunch of skinheads were tossed out of the studio after shouting profanities and racial insults. A particularly exploitative program in 1992 featured adult children who confronted their mothers in the studio and asked why mom let dad get away with molesting them as kids.
“One sweeps-period run in 1988 included these topics: ‘I Want My Abused Kids Back,’ ‘Women Who Turn to Lesbianism,’ ‘Best Bodies’ and ‘Man Poaching.’
“A smattering of Oprah topics from one three-month stretch in 1989: ‘Losing a Boyfriend or Husband to a Man-Stealing Relative,’ ‘Fathers Dating Their Daughters’ Friends,’ ‘Casanova Lovers’ and ‘Polygamy.’
“Over the course of two weeks in 1990, Oprah shows included ‘Couples Who Have Lost Interest in Sex,’ ‘When Your Spouse Meets Your Old Flame,’ ‘My Mother Stole My Man’ and ‘My Husband Works With a Flirt.’
“Those one-hour gems may have been entertaining as all get-out, but I’m not sure they helped anyone but Oprah lead a better life.”
Roeper, 1998: “It’s amazing. Oprah endorses a product_and hundreds of thousands of her fans immediately put on their coats, dash out the door and purchase that item, simply because their television best friend has recommended it. Here’s hoping that one day she recommends the philosophy of independent thought!”
Roeper, 1998: “Winfrey told TV Guide she’s so happy she’s ‘splendiferous’ – but it seems to me we’re watching a woman go through an almost frantic search for spiritual bliss and higher consciousness.
“She’s becoming Deepak Oprah.
“Consider the anecdote in Time about Winfrey’s ‘go there’ moments, in which ‘old spirits are trying to get in touch with her.’ Winfrey said she hears the voices of slaves – they even have names – and ‘she has come to know each of them personally and calls them in at will to guide her in her work.'”
*
“There’s a revealing episode [in a Vogue interview] about how she sometimes thinks of her audience as mere background extras in the movie of her life.”
*
“Then there’s the ‘Remembering Your Spirit’ segment, in which Winfrey is surrounded by candles as she welcomes authors and psychobabblers. Here we get talk of writing in ‘gratitude journals,’ and discussions of becoming ‘multisensory’ by connecting with ‘non-physical friends,’ whatever that means.”
Roeper, 2000: “‘Phenomenally, phenomenal woman, that’s me.’ – Oprah Winfrey at her ‘Personal Growth Summit’ in Detroit last Friday.”
Roeper, 2004: “‘You win a car! You win a car! You win a car! Everybody gets the car! Everybody gets the car! Everybody gets the car!’ – Oprah Winfrey, informing her studio audience that everyone was getting, um, a car.
“True or False: On the premiere of Oprah Winfrey’s 19th season in syndication, Winfrey gave each of her 276 audience members a car.
“The answer is ‘False.’
“Oprah didn’t give away anything. Even though the ecstatic members of her studio congregation kept thanking Oprah for making their dreams come true, Winfrey didn’t personally give away those cars any more than Jeff Probst dips into his checking account to give $1 million to the winner on Survivor.
“Pontiac footed the nearly $8 million tab – one of the biggest bargains in the history of marketing . . . Note that the giveaway orgy was conceived not by Oprah or one of her staffers – but by Pontiac’s marketing team.”
Ebert, 2011: The questions he sent to Oprah in an e-mail “interview.”
“Q. The novel Miss Lonelyhearts was about the author of an advice column who began to crumble under the weight of his readers’ problems. How do you survive the depth of suffering of some of your guests?
“Q. I believe you started out with a career and ended up with a vocation. If you agree with that at all, did the transition catch you rather by surprise?
“Q. Your Chicago shows began with the standard TV morning show studio format. Today I can’t imagine your program without a studio audience. How did the studio audience evolve, and how do you relate to it?
“Q. Do you monitor your behavior because you are such an influential model for so many people? Many celebrities lead appalling lives. Not you.
“Q. Will the Oprah Winfrey Network broaden out from health and counseling sorts of programs to include news, sitcoms and other formats?
“Q. On TV, I saw you weeping at Grant Park during Obama’s Election Night speech. I sensed at that moment something more than simply joy. I felt something very deep within you had been accessed.
“Q. At the movies, I think many people cry more when they see goodness than when they see sadness. Why is that?
“Q. You have created your own environment and never been absorbed into “show biz” in the sense we associate with the coasts. Did Chicago help your focus?
“Q. Gene Siskel’s inevitable question: What do you know for sure?
“Q. What do you think happens after death?”
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*The correct answer is E.
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Comments welcome.
Posted on May 20, 2011