It Says Here

By Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter!

“Next, a look at today’s papers. Why fucking bother?”

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“This isn’t about journalism ethics, it’s about human ethics.”
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It Says Here / Billy Bragg

It says here that the Unions will never learn
It says here that the economy is on the upturn
And it says here we should be proud
That we are free
And our free press reflects our democracy
Those braying voices on the right of the House
Are echoed down the Street of Shame
Where politics mix with bingo and tits
In a money and numbers game
Where they offer you a feature
On stockings and suspenders
Next to a call for stiffer penalties for sex offenders
It says here that this year’s prince is born
It says here do you ever wish
That you were better informed
And it says here that we can only stop the rot
With a large dose of Law and Order
And a touch of the short sharp shock
If this does not reflect your view you should understand
That those who own the papers also own this land
And they’d rather you believed
In Coronation Street capers
In the war of circulation, it sells newspapers
Could it be an infringement
Of the freedom of the press
To print pictures of women in states of undress
When you wake up to the fact
That your paper is Tory
Just remember, there are two sides to every story
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Previously in Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter!:
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Explains The Economy.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! It’s Shit Crap News, Tim.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Is Going To Paris.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Grow Some Balls; Tell The Truth.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! MP Is A Wanker Santa.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Merry Fucking Christmas.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! New Year’s Rant.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Sexy Skype.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! TTIP Is Boring Shit.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! The Truth About Teachers & Doctors.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Valentine’s Day 2016.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! On The ‘Environment” Beat.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Political Theater As News.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Charter Wankers International.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! The Panama Papers: They’re All In It Together.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Answer The Fucking Question.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Snapchatting The Environment.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Election Fever!
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Day-Glo Fuck-Nugget Trump.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Dickens Meets The Jetsons.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Tony Blair: Comedy Genius Or Psychopath?
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! What Real Business News Should Look Like.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Facts Are No Longer Newsworthy.
* Pie’s Brexit.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Real Life Is Not Game Of Thrones.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Labor: The Clue’s In The Title!
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! The Pie Olympics.
* Occupy Pie.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Where Is The War Against Terrorble Mental Health Services?
* Progressive Pie.
* The BBC’s Bake-Off Bollocks.
* Pie Commits A Hate Crime.
* Pie Interviews A Teenage Conservative.
* Jonathan Pie’s Idiot’s Guide To The U.S. Election.
* President Trump: How & Why.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! All The News Is Fake!
* Happy Christmas From Jonathan Pie.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! 2016 In Review.
* Inauguration Reporting.
* New Year: New Pie?
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Make The Air Fair.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! A Gift To Trump?
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Strong And Unstable.
* Pie & Brand: Hate, Anger, Violence & Carrying On.
* Socialism Strikes Back!
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Election Carnage.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! Papering Over Poverty.
* Jonathan Pie, TV Reporter! The Queen’s Speech.
* Showdown: North Korea vs. Trump.
* Time For The Royal Scroungers To Earn Their Keep.
* Cricket vs. Brexit.
* The Real Jonathan Pie.
* A Hostile Environment.
* Jonathan Pie | Trump’s America.
* Pie: Putin’s America.
* Amazon And The Way Of The World.
* Horseface, Ho-Hum.
* Of Turbines, Trump And Twats.
* Breaking: Trump Still Racist.
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Plus:
If Only All TV Reporters Did The News Like This.

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And:
Australia Is Horrific.

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Comments welcome.

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Posted on September 23, 2019