By Natasha Julius
White House shuffles, shoot-to-kill curfews, gubernatorial convictions . . . There’s a common thread here: None of them will make a difference! But they’re all in the news heading into the weekend and we’ll keep our eye out for developments while you take a load off.
One Tough Mother
Some of us here at Beachwood HQ we think Prince Charles of the United Kingdom is just ducky and, in this day and age when royal amiability is more vital than royal savvy, we think he’d make a swell king. His interests in this area were dealt a heavy blow, however, when his mother defiantly turned 80, still lean and fighting fit. At this point, Chuckles, we say give up the ghost.
Plunging Values
It’s too bad this guy doesn’t live in Chicago. We’ve got much better ways for him to flush his money down the toilet.
Nepalingly Awful
The Beachwood brain trust is scratching its collective head trying to figure out what exactly King Gyanendra did to piss off the U.S. State Department. Clearly, it couldn’t be suspending democracy, trying to establish an absolute monarchy or violently suppressing an internal rebellion. So what gives, Condi?
European Vacation
Nice try, Switzerland, but we’re way too busy cramming for the Dutch entrance exam.
Open Season
After a year’s absence due to labor disputes between the National Hockey League and its players’ association, the Stanley Cup playoffs finally returned Friday evening. Unfortunately for the 16 teams included in the tournament, it has been determined that the Cup legally doesn’t have to go to the NHL champ. And we all know where this is heading, right?
Posted on April 22, 2006