By Natasha Julius
Market Update
There was a surprise run on media feeding frenzies this week, pushing shares of human dignity sharply lower.
Lean Times, Part 1
In a good faith gesture this week, Cook County Board President Todd Stroger cut a whopping 20 patronage jobs from his payroll. Critics were quick to point out this figure falls well short of Stroger’s proposed 17% across-the-board budget slash. His supporters note, however, that he plans to announce a further 35% reduction from the bloated non-Stroger staff rolls to make up the difference.
Lean Times, Part 2
Meanwhile, the CTA has taken a page from Stroger’s book by announcing it will offset a planned 25% reduction in service with a rapid and significant reduction in passengers.
Virgin Megascore
Sir Richard Branson this week announced a $25 million prize for anyone who develops a method of extracting greenhouse gases from the atmosphere. “The Earth cannot wait 60 years,” Branson told reporters, stressing that global climate change already threatens the survival of delicate ecosystems including the Great Barrier Reef and Al Gore’s eyebrows. Given the mass of satellite imagery that shows the extent of the destruction over the years, we fear Branson’s eco-challenge may be too little too late.
Evidence Rising
Finally, franchise purists have been quick to condemn the latest Silence of the Lambs prequel, Hannibal Rising, for fear it will tarnish the legacy of an all-time great screen villain. The ill-conceived addition to the series fares better, however, when compared to other widely-panned revisionist histories. Hell, by our count it’s not even the most damaging prequel out this week.
Posted on February 10, 2007