By Natasha Julius
Editor’s Note: The Papers will return on Tuesday.
The end of December is traditionally a time for reflection on the events of the past year. We’ll have none of that here at the Weekend Desk, where our focus is always down our nose and straight ahead. As we prepare for the arrival of 2007, one thing is absolutely clear: Our job has already gotten a whole lot tougher.
Swift Swing
We were really looking forward to celebrating a rare victory for Justice, but it’s kind of hard when he’s being such a fucking dickhead about it. Dude, seriously. You should know by now, no one likes a sore winner.
Winning the Piece
President Bush this week proudly hailed the liberation of a vast section of the planet, despite concessions within his administration that current U.S. policies might not benefit the residents of the region. The president maintained this action is vital to national security and reiterated that if we stay the course, total victory could be achieved three times faster than expected.
Update from Oz
Take heart, CTA riders! Turns out the public transit system in Oz is just as inefficient as your home-town rail lines.
The People Have Spoken
President Bush secured what he called “an iron-clad mandate” to continue as the trusted leader of the United States. Simultaneously, he secured a more convincing mandate to continue as the biggest bumbling asshat of the United States as well.
We wish a safe and happy new year to all our loyal readers. We look forward to serving you all in 2007.
For the best year-end review ever, take a look back at the Weekend Desk Reports of 2006 and try to tell us they don’t capture the state of world affairs better than any of those crappy retrospectives in the newspapers.
Posted on December 30, 2006