By Natasha Julius
We’re a little befuddled here at The Beachwood Reporter Weekend Desk. We thought we were going to be up to our ears covering the most recent U.S.-led air assault in Iraq, but apparently it ain’t no thang. So here are the stories we think we’ll be watching for you instead this Saturday and Sunday.
Obamest
Of course we will continue to monitor the condition of Cook County Board President John Stroger, to whom we wish a speedy recovery. Likewise, we are watching Sen. Barack Obama’s rhetoric closely for signs of excessive hyperbole, which the Beachwood medical advisory panel warns us could be a sign of dangerous overexposure.
The Frying Game
If you’re scoring at home, we’re pretty sure the death penalty is back in play at the trial of confessed al-Qaeda member Zacarias Moussaoui. If not, try flowers.
New Economic Order
Mexico defeated the United States at the World Baseball Classic on Friday, ensuring that both countries will be dismissed from the North American Free Trade Agreement. Per the rules of international competition, NAFTA will henceforth comprise Japan, the Dominican Republic, Cuba and one or both Koreas. Our correspondents are en route to Tokyo, Santo Domingo, Havana, Seoul and possibly Pyongyang to bring you all the latest developments.
Be Not Afraid of Greatness
In entertainment news, an important new film opens this weekend that every young person should see. With She’s the Man, Hollywood has finally seen fit to produce a modern-day version of Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, and we at the BR Weekend Desk couldn’t be more excited. While modernizing the language and setting of the original, the three credited screenwriters have preserved the most valuable aspect of any Shakespeare comedy: The plot. At last, teenagers the world over will be liberated from reading the Bard’s troublesome prose. After all, if he’d meant for us to read his stuff like a book he wouldn’t have written plays, right?
Posted on March 18, 2006