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The [Tuesday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

“When Bruce Rauner takes his oath of office next month as Illinois governor, there will be no inaugural ball as part of the celebration,” USA Today reports.
Presumably a ball would be too .01%-y.


“Rauner will be sworn in Jan. 12 as the state’s 42nd governor – the first Republican in 12 years to preside in Springfield. The venture capitalist will take over for Democratic Gov. Pat Quinn, whom he defeated by nearly 5 percentage points last month.
“The Illinois inauguration activities announced Monday, along with a new website for the events, include free ticketed admission to the swearing-in ceremony at the Prairie Capital Convention Center, an open house with the governor and first lady at the Old State Capitol, and a concert instead of an inaugural ball that evening. Every Illinois governor since 1970 has had an inaugural ball, according to the Illinois Historic Preservation Agency.”
Huh. I hate that “ball” stuff, so this is actually refreshing.
“Rauner’s team will announce a ‘famous musical act’ that will be featured at the inaugural concert at a later date. Tickets for the concert are $125 each.”
Oh.
Um, okay.
$125.
Will it be worth it?
Our very own Tim Willette and I did some reporting this morning and obtained the minutes of an inauguration committee meeting about which which “famous musical act” to hire. The act would have to be both available and willing to travel to Springfield in January. Here are those minutes:

  • Chicago? Nah, wouldn’t want to emphasize Chicago over downstate.
  • Styx? Nah, too devil-y.
  • Wilco? Tweedy does like Rahm … but not famous enough that Republicans and legislators in general have heard of them.
  • Fleetwood Mac? They did play Sam Zell’s birthday party … but too Clinton-y.
  • Kanye? Non-starter. (But maybe Meeks knows him; check on it.)
  • Ted Nugent? That would fit. After: dove hunting! Move to Tier 1.
  • The Blues Brothers featuring Jim Belushi and that Roseanne dude? Again, too Chicago-y. But get Belushi for something. Bruce loves him.
  • Perry Como? Very Republican-y. See if he’s alive.
  • Country? Of course! Garth Brooks? Not at $125 per.
  • Tim McGraw? Think smaller.
  • LeAnn Rimes? Check the tabloids.
  • Any famous barbershop quartets? Perfect!
  • Committee will reconvene this afternoon.

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Trailer: Chicago Public Schools: Closed
“Watch the trailer for a short documentary that follows Rousemary Vega, a parent turned activist, through the maze of hearings and protests that preceded the largest school closings in American history.”
#RahmRepNow
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The Beachwood Radio Hour #35: Don’t Feed The Comptrollers
The truth about Judy Baar Topinka. Plus: Hate Worldwide and Rahm vs. the Leftovers.
Keywords: Cat Stevens, Spock’s Brain, Grayson Moorhead Securities, Marcel Pacatte, Rich Miller, Alan Keyes, Slayer, Hogan’s Heroes, Ronald Reagan, Joseph Stalin, Peggy Noonan, Torture Report, Barbara Tuchman, John Conroy, Jon Burge, Helstar, Rahm Emanuel, Bob Fioretti, Chuy Garcia, Meg Myers, Chicago.
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Three years of (torturous) false imprisonment.
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Even the Christians are mad.
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It’s super cool.
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BeachBook
* Witness 40: Exposing A Fraud In Ferguson.
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* Chicago “ISIS” Store To Change Name Due To Harassment.
* Trail Of Tears In Downstate Illinois.
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TweetWood


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The Beachwood Tip Line: Styx-y.

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Posted on December 16, 2014