By Steve Rhodes
As of the time of this writing – 2:15 p.m. – the Humboldt Park Gator is still free to pursue a life of liberty. And we’re still free to pursue the exploitation of that life well beyond t-shirts and Facebook events.
To wit:
* Gator Dogs. To the classic Chicago hot dog, add ketchup red as the blood that will run from Alligator Bob’s bloody stump by the time he’s done.
* Gator Scratch-Offs. Pay down the city’s pension debt with this popular new lotto game that only pays off in Gator Dollars.
* Gator Gaydar. Is the Humboldt Park Gator gay? Only those with gator gaydar know for sure.
* Cloud Gator. Paint the Bean green, yo. Make it a green bean.
* Make The Gator Spit On Us. Put the gator’s face here, please:
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P.S.: Would the alderman from the lagoon please rise?
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ME: We should do gator shots . . .
SARA: What would be in it?
ME: Something minty and something tropical . . .
KELSEY: Voila!
By the way, super tasty. Not sure if I’m at liberty to disclose the (made-up on the spot) recipe.
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Union Yes
Sun-Times: Gov. Pritzker’s Wrong To Give Confederate Railroad The Boot.
Pritzker: “The Confederate flag is a symbol of not just slavery, but of treason against the United States. [It’s] a symbold of murder, kidnapping, of rape.”
Pritzker 1, Sun-Times 0
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Pritzker has been refreshingly direct about how abhorrent the Confederate flag is – even pols who take a stand against it always, as far as I can recall, do a diplomatic dance around its nature. Not so, J.B. Way to go, guv.
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Meanwhile, do read the Sun-Times’ editorial for a master class in namby-pamby nation.
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Also, more kudos to Pritzker for getting the comparison to Snoop Dogg exactly right by correctly discerning the difference between political satire and real, actual crimes against humanity.
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Plus:
Why Are American Military Bases Still Named After Confederate Soldiers? https://t.co/MlAQxMgnIU
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) July 11, 2019
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Loving Courtney
“‘I much prefer the mundane,’ Courtney Barnett declared near the start of her concert Wednesday at the opening of Taste of Chicago,” Bob Gendron writes for the Tribune.
“For the next 75 minutes, the burgeoning Australian singer-songwriter demonstrated how exciting and interesting day-to-day life can be, particularly when explored from relatable, insightful perspectives. Her scrappy brand of rock n’ roll followed suit. Rather than attempting to rewrite rules, her trio proved how the time-honored array of a guitar, bass and drums still can sound fresh, imaginative and fun.”
Here’s some video:
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New on the Beachwood today . . .
Beat Keepers
Women with rhythm.
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GOP FCC Weakens Kid TV
Children’s programming should be free, not behind paywalls.
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Wisconsin’s Big Marketing Cheese
Suzanne Fanning has revolutionized how consumers think about Wisconsin Cheese.
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ChicagoReddit
I will never boycott a movie HARDER than if Chance the Snapper turns out to be a Hollywood publicity stunt from r/chicago
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ChicagoGram
View this post on Instagram#HoodTalk 🤷🏼♀️ #ChiTown #GoogleIt #Chicago #HumboltHeights #WindyCity #HOME
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ChicagoTube
EL COCODRILO DE HUMBOLDT PARK 2019
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BeachBook
The Smithsonian Is Looking Into Acquiring Disturbing Drawings Made By Migrant Children At The US Border.
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TweetWood
A sampling.
Immigrant Children Sent to #Chicago Shelters Are Traumatized and Sick, in Some Instances With Chicken Pox or Tuberculosis https://t.co/zHQVycc66Y
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) July 11, 2019
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Intelligence aide, blocked from submitting written testimony on climate change, resigns from State Dept. https://t.co/T9c0GLUWRi
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) July 10, 2019
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Chicago Archdiocese’s Immigration Program Funded by Leftists https://t.co/D9IRswhIrm
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) July 10, 2019
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— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) July 11, 2019
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Exorcist training and conference next month in #Chicago | https://t.co/QWPXuFUWDd
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) July 10, 2019
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The Beachwood McRibTipLine: Space.
Posted on July 11, 2019