By Natasha Julius
A look at the stories we’re watching for you this weekend.
Precision Under Pressure
Now that Republican gubernatorial candidate Judy Baar Topinka has apologized for calling her opponents in this month’s primary “morons,” we will be listening closely to see that she chooses her words more carefully. Indeed, it is important that the future chief executive of the state be able to express him or herself clearly even in times of duress. We’ll know Topinka is back on the right track when we hear her refer to the other candidates as “the millionaire dickweed, the fucked-up ice cream man, and two guys nobody cares about.”
Partial Back-Door Assault
This week South Dakota launched, in the words of Governor Mike Rounds, a “direct frontal assault” on Roe vs. Wade by passing a law banning almost all abortions, including those requested by victims of rape or incest. Perhaps this weekend these same legislators will consider introducing a law that ends rape and incest.
World Tradeball Classic
To generate interest in the World Baseball Classic, the leaders of Canada, Mexico and the United States reportedly are considering booting whoever does not advance in the highly-competitive Pool B out of NAFTA. With the United States securing a second-round berth with a win over South Africa on Friday, we will be sending our foreign correspondent to cover the enormous celebration in Ottawa this weekend.
Failure to Watch
Finally, union regulations guarantee The Beachwood Reporter Weekend Desk staff five three-hour breaks to be used between Friday night and Sunday evening. Thus, we consider our entertainment choices very seriously. And much as we love the idea of a movie called Failure to Launch that stars the alleged Sexiest Man Alive, we hear there’s some bitching pledge drive programming on PBS this weekend.
Posted on March 11, 2006