A Field Guide
* Winning two in a row seems like an accident.
* You go to closer-by-subcommittee.
* You have Blake Lalli and Koyie Hill on the same roster.
* Memorial Day is for reflecting on a season already lost.
* Your best pitcher has a 2.14 ERA and is winless in eight starts.
* Joe Mather is your No. 3 hitter.
* Alfonso Soriano is your highest-paid player.
* Your owner has a rich, bigoted daddy whose money bought the team.
* Rafael Dolis was your closer until he got demoted – to AAA.
* Your manager’s nickname is Nuts.
* Your best rookie is 29 years old.
* He platoons with Jeff Baker.
* Your third baseman’s batting average is less than his weight.
* You just held a tear-filled retirement ceremony for a pitcher whose lifetime record is 86-75.
* That’s more games than the entire team will win this year.
* You’re in the first year of rebuilding 104 years after your last World Series win.
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Comments welcome.
Posted on May 30, 2012