By Tom Latourette and Rick Kaempfer
We give so much, give our time and our money
We buy garages from Danley, and just for you.
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We drink Old Style, and we pay you $6.50
Though between you and me, that’s not good brew
And the price tag, to get hit with some concrete
that will crumble on our seat, is $52
And now we’re angry, cause we’re making history
Only seen in ’66 and ’62
And we might lose 100 games
And we could lose a few games more
It’s been just one bad century
But then again,who’s keeping score?
Missed the wedding, in ’69 and ’84
And needed just five outs more, 2003
Been a bridesmaid, in ’32 and ’35
In ’38 and ’45, close as can be
This year we’re betting, that a record we’ll be setting
As the losses mount, your failure’s all we see
Eamus Catuli, all those numbers they ain’t fooling
A brand new standard of the Cub’s futility
Missed the wedding, in ’69 and ’84
And needed just five outs more, 2003
Been a bridesmaid, in ’32 and ’35
In ’38 and ’45, close as can be
This year we’re betting, that a record we’ll be setting
As the losses mount, your failure’s all we see
Eamus Catuli, all those numbers they ain’t fooling
A brand new standard of the Cub’s futility
And we might lose 100 games
And we could lose a few games more
It’s been more than a century
And our butt cheeks are getting sore
Theo Epstein! Theo Epstein!
In your first year we’ve given you a pass
Theo Epstein! Theo Epstein!
Another year like this you’re on your ass
We’ve had called shots, watched a ball through Leon’s legs
We’ve got disregard for Greg, we traded Lou
We hate Garvey, and Bartman reaching in the park
And please no more Will Clark, or Stephen Drew
Another next year, that’s the phrase we always hear
That’s why we drown ourselves in beer, while dressed in blue
No celebration, for the suffering Cubbie Nation
Falling short is what these Cubs will always do
But your fans just keep on coming back . . . for you,
Cause we will lose 100 games
And then we’ll dump a few games more
It’s been a whole damn century
And our butt cheeks are getting sore
Adam Greenberg! Adam Greenberg!
In ’05 that baseball hit your head
Adam Greenberg! Adam Greenberg!
Take Soriano’s batting place instead
Dale Svum! Dale Sveeum!
I guess this team won’t bring our Series ring.
Dale CVeum,!Dale Cvum!
This ain’t the team to show us how to win
Cause we will lose 100 games
And then we’ll blow a few games more
It’s been a whole damn century
And this BS just makes us sore
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Adapted from We Can’t Wait 100 Years
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See also: 100 Seasons in the Sun
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Comments welcome.
Posted on September 21, 2012