By Steve Rhodes
Rick Rentamanager.
Carlos Villanuewavagoodbye.
John Bakeroonie.
I’ve got nothing.
The Week In Review: The Cubs took two of three from the Rockies and dropped two of three to the Rays. In other local games of pretend, the Bears won their first exhibition match.
The Week In Preview: The Brewers, who are based in Milwaukee, a smaller market by far than Chicago, bring their first-place squad to Wrigley for four. Then the Cubs head to New York to get spanked by the woeful Mets.
Wrigley Is 100 Celebration: The Cubs will strike out 100 times in an upcoming game.
Mad Merch: Free strikeouts to the first 10,000 fans to Wrigley the rest of the season.
Prospects Are Suspects: Arismendy Alcantara is 7-for-his-last 39. Javy Baez has struck out 12 times in 29 at-bats. They are batting 1-2 in the Cubs lineup.
Theo Epstein Condescension Meter: 10.
“It’s not business.”
That’s Ricky: Rick Rentamanager said last week that he sees Baez as a clean-up hitter down the road. If that ever happens, the Cubs have totally failed. Kris Bryant and Jorge Soler are slated for fill the four- and five-holes down the road, presuming Anthony Rizzo stays in the three-hole. And if they don’t work out, the Cubs better go get someone who isn’t going to strike out with men on base night after night.
*
Also: “Renteria conceded that bullpen management has been his greatest challenge as a first-year manager, a task made even greater by a slew of close games. Cubs relievers began the day with the third-most innings in the majors this season.”
“That’s one of the reasons why we carry eight relievers,” Renteria said.
*
So the Cubs carry eight relievers because Rick Rentamanager can’t manage a bullpen.
Laughable Headline Of The Week: “Javier Baez Strikeout Helps Cubs Walk Off To Victory Over Rays.”
Even their wins are accidental.
Kubs Kulture: “Beyond K’s, Cubs Seek On-Base Formula.”
Not gonna get it with Jim Hendry’s leftovers.
Billy Cub vs. Clark Cub: “Also on hand adding to the festive climate were Clark the Cub and former Cubs Dave Otto and Bill Campbell.”
Advantage: Billy.
The Junior Lake Show: Oh, Cubs.
Mustache Wisdom: “Carlos Villanueva (5-6) was the seventh Cubs pitcher used.”
Wishing Upon A Starlin: Hitting .279 in his comeback year – out of the four-hole.
Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: The market is valuing Cole Hamels higher this week.
Jumbotron Preview: 5,700 square-feet of not getting Cole Hamels.
Kubs Kalender: Wait ’til next year 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 2021.
Over/Under: Amount ticket prices will go up next year: +/- $1.25.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that the phrase “growing pains” is gonna get old fast.
Hashtag Cubs
Looking for a spark, #Cubs call up Javy Baez again.
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) August 11, 2014
–
The Cub Factor: Unlike Alfonso Soriano Starlin Castro, you can catch ’em all!
The White Sox Report: Dunn Saga Done.
The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour: Javy Time.
–
Comments welcome.
Posted on August 12, 2014