By Marty Gangler
Well geez, it’s about time. That’s what many a Cub fan would have to say after the Cubs opened the week losing two of three to the D-Backs and then taking the last three of four from the Marlins. So they finished the week 4-3, but it feels better than that because they won the last three in a row. But it was still just 4-3. I did some math, and I think it’s right, and if a baseball team won four of every seven games for the whole year they would get 92 or so wins for the year – which actually might be enough to win the NL Central. But still, it doesn’t feel that good this week. With all of this in mind, including the math, we here at the Cub Factor would like to list a few things that feel like this week for the Cubs.
* You think your girlfriend is cheating on you so you confront her about it and it turns out that she isn’t but she’s now considering it because you accused her of it. So, you’re glad she isn’t cheating, but there’s a bad taste in your mouth.
* You really hate your job but don’t want to be fired and then find out that you aren’t fired but you still might be if you don’t show that you like your job. So it’s good you still have a job but it’s still the same job. So you have that bad taste in your mouth.
* You come home from a hard day and you are very hungry. You thought you had a Tombstone in the freezer but you forgot that you ate that last week watching all those Bulls overtimes, but you find a stray Hot Pocket that must have fallen out of the box some time ago so you throw it in the microwave. But then it turns out to be a broccoli and ham lean pocket which really isn’t very tasty. So, you are glad you are not hungry anymore but you literally have a bad taste in your mouth.
And that’s what it feels like to be a Cubs fan this week.
–
Week in Review: I did the math. 4-3 for the week. Which isn’t bad but isn’t that good either.
Week in Preview: The Cubs have two 2-game series’ this week. The first 2-game series is against the Giants at home, and then the second 2-game series is in Houston. Then they go up to Miller Park for three against the Brewers. That schedule is pretty stupid.
The Second Basemen Report: Aaron Miles started all seven games this week at second base. Which is because Lil’ Fontenot played third base pretty much all week – except for one time when backup catcher Koyie Hill played third. I wonder who’s mitt he borrowed. But I honestly thought it might get wackier because this roster is still outta whack, you know, just like Jim hendry drew it up.
In former second basemen news, Mark DeRosa has brought his average all the way up to .235 and has 19 RBI for the Tribe. Ronnie Cedeno is still batting .154 for the Mariners. So you could pretty much say it’s one more than the other, but they both will be missed.
The Zam Bomb: Pitching well and pinch hitting make Big Z happy. But pulling a hamstring makes him angry. As always the anger feeling wins over the happy. Big Z remains Furious.
–
Endorsement No-Brainer: Ryan Theriot for Mini-Wheats. Commercial: He sees Lil’ Mike Fontenot hitting home runs and says “I’ll have what he’s having.” Would also work for Extenz.
Lost in Translation: Nicey-nicey drinky time-o is Japanese for Miller Park.
Milton Bradley Game of the Week: Connect Four. Let’s see if Milton can connect four starts in a row any time soon.
Sweet and Sour Lou: 56% sweet, 46% sour. Lou is up one tiny point on the Sweet-O-Meter this week due to a barely winning week and continued injuries. And just like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou is glad you were able to ride your bike all the way around the block. But you fell down a dozen times and did a number on your bike. Uncle Lou likes to help, but he’s tired of scrambling to put the damn thing together all the time.
Don’t Hassle the Hoff: You choose: Is he a designated hitter in the wrong league or a first baseman on a team that already has one? Whichever you choose just remember, don’t hassle him.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that the schedule this year is stupid.
Over/Under: The number of beers I will drink tailgating before the Cub/Brewer game in Milwaukee this Friday: +/- 6.5 (if I’m driving) +/- 12.5 (if I’m not).
Fantasy Fix: Time to panic?
The Cub Factor: Unlike Hoffpauir, you can catch ’em all!
Mount Lou: Remains Orange despite turbulence just beneath the surface. Forecasters predict a silly two-game road trip to Houston may become the anger catalyst that will move Mount Lou to a long-awaited eruption.
–
Contact The Cub Factor!
Posted on May 4, 2009