By Marty Gangler
I have to admit that I didn’t watch very much Cub baseball this week. Which felt really weird except that for most of my life (and yours) the last week of the season is typically irrelevant. And this was no different – by Cubs standards. But it mattered to the Mets and Brewers, which was really odd to watch (I did watch a little) because one team wasn’t really trying and the other was trying really, really hard. But here we are with the playoffs looming a long few days away and the question becomes, “What should I do from now until then?” Well, we here at The Cub factor feel your pain and will offer you a few tips. As this year has to be considered the best chance the Cubs have ever had in their 100 -year World Series drought, we know that a good majority of you fans out there will be a wreck once the playoffs begin – and you haters out there will also be a wreck hoping the Cubs lose. So here’s what to do, Cub Factor style.
* Go pet a goat, it can’t hurt.
* Study up on past Cub playoff defeats. There aren’t that many and you’ll impress others at Cub gatherings and the water cooler at work.
* Send good vibes to Mark DeRosa’s leg and read up on his blog.
* Spend time with your family. You might have some explaining to do when your wife sees you crying over Cub wins when you didn’t cry at your own wedding, so get as many points built up as you can before the games begin.
* Stock up on canned goods. If the Cubs do win it, the end of the world can’t be too far away.
* Read this old Cub Factor about where to watch the playoffs.
* Dust off you looting shoes. Might as well be prepared.
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The Week in Review: The Cubs played a few games this week and won a few and lost a couple. It really didn’t matter.
The Week in Preview :Two Octobers in a row with Cub playoffs games? Pinch me. Ryan Dempster takes his bad Harry Caray impression and tremendous 2008 arm into battle against Manny Ramirez and the L.A. Dodgers at Wrigley on Wednesday. Seriously, if you see me you can totally pinch me.
The Second Basemen Report: We went 161 games this year with five different second basemen. I, for one, am a little disappointed. I mean, technically, there were five different first basemen also. But no position on the field was double-switched more than second base, so we take comfort in that. Just like Hendry drew it up.
In former second basemen news, Johnny Evers is still the last Cub second baseman to win a World Series. He is still missed.
The Zam Bomb: Not starting the first playoff game has Big Z getting angry.
Endorsement No-Brainer: Mike Fontenot for Mighty Putty.
Lost in Translation: Fukudome is Japanese for “barely on the playoff roster.”
Sweet and Sour Lou: 75% sweet, 25% Sour. Lou is down three points on the Sweet-O-Meter due to getting the game face back on and putting Bob Howry on the playoff roster. And just like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou keeps giving you a chance to make the Pop Warner football team he’s coaching even though you don’t deserve it. How about proving him right so he doesn’t have to hear it next time he goes in for a trim at old man Wilson’s barber shop.
Center Stage: The X-Factors for this playoff run will come from center field. J-Ed and R-Jo will be huge either starting or coming off the bench in big spots. These guys fell into Jim Hendry’s lap and it almost looks like he knows what he’s doing – if you didn’t know any better.
The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that it’s time.
Over/Under: The number of dogs being kicked if the Cubs lose Game 1: +/- 1.2 million.
Mount Lou: Lou moves to yellow as strategy lava begins to churn deep inside Lou’s core. Villagers asked to drink responsibly.
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Posted on September 29, 2008