By Marty Gangler
What another week. The Cubs have another great week and clinch the Central Division and a playoff berth. What a great feeling for the Cubs and for Cub fans, but all I can do is think about my younger brother Jon. Not that he is a big Cub fan, because he really isn’t. But growing up and being three years younger than me, Jon was on the short end of the stick during a handful of brotherly skirmishes. Okay, what the hell am I talking about. In this real life scenario explaining another real life scenario, my brother would be the Brewers and I would be the Cubs. It’s a classic younger brother/older brother situation, just look. The Cubs are older (especially in the National League), they make more money (like most older siblings do), are more popular (most older brothers are), so it does fit. Maybe not all the classic older/younger rules are true in my case (my brother is much more likeable than I am) but one thing did hold true – I always won physical battles. BUT I was always looking to see what my brother had. I had to size him up and see where I stood. I would provoke him into fighting with me – my brother had (and still has) a temper and when he gets pissed, look out, he’s an animal. And it was these moments that I truly enjoyed. In animal mode my brother could get in some good shots and the fight would be even for a little while, then I’d overtake him with my size and strength. So, getting back to the initial analogy – I really thought the Brewers had a bit more animal in them. I’m not complaining but I thought it would possibly be a little more interesting. But I’ll take uninteresting division titles every day of the week – I’ll even take uninteresting World Series wins too. I’m just sayin’ that this reminded me of my brother.
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The Week in Review: The Cubs went 4-2 for the week clinching the division title on Saturday against the Cardinals. Then they played another game on Sunday but I didn’t watch a second of it or care what happened.
The Week in Preview: I think the Cubs play seven games this week on the road but I know they don’t mean anything. So it’s kind of like most of the last full weeks of the season for the last 100 years. Except it’s different.
The Second Basemen Report: Mike Fontenot started four of seven this week with Mark DeRosa getting a pair and Ronnie Cedeno getting one. The pocket rocket Fontenot might be your second baseman come playoff time with DeRosa moving to right field, but the more fun situation will be who is going to play second base this week when the games don’t matter. Maybe we’ll see a few guys from the minors. It’s really what The Second Basemen Report needs. Plus, if they are good, they can compete next season for the most shifted around, don’t know who is going to play position on the Cubs. That’s what I’m pulling for. Just like Hendry drew it up.
In former second basemen news, Dan Rohn is currently the manager of the Fresno Grizzles, the San Francisco Giants’ Triple-A team. He is missed.
The Zam Bomb: Clinching a division win makes Big Z furiously happy. So do beer goggles.
Endorsement No-Brainer: The Cubs for Moet & Chandon. Because winning doesn’t have to sting.
Lost in Translation: Domoscrubagato is Japanese for Fukudome.
Sweet and Sour Lou: 78% sweet, 22% sour. Lou is up 12 points on the Sweet-O-Meter this week due to winning the division. And just like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou is going to get shitfaced.
Center Stage: Felix Pie will be able to play a lot this week because the games don’t matter. You know, just like Hendry drew it up.
The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that this is only one step.
Over/Under:The number of real Cub fans that will be able to get playoff tickets: +/- not enough.
Mount Lou: Storm clouds have moved over the area in and around Mount Lou and have rained down a cool sweet beer and Champagne shower, completely cooling the region. He is in the green, people. And will be all week.
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Posted on September 22, 2008