By Eric Emery
Late last week, I received an e-mail from a friend casting doubt on my Bears prediction (Chicago plus 2). One thing led to another, and we bet 12 boneless chicken wings on the game. I’m not bringing this up because I made the wrong pick (which I do on a regular basis). I’m mentioning it because this person is a Bears fan, yet he was betting against the Bears. At home. Against a vulnerable opponent. In a must-win game.
New rule: When a fan bets against their own team, that fan is not allowed to bet for their team for the remainder of the season. Here are some more betting rules.
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Sucker Bet: The Bears sticking with what works – like the hurry-up offense and using throwing to its dynamic duo of tight ends.
Sure Bet: Insisting on game plans not best suited to the talent at hand.
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Sucker Bet: The Bulls or Bears going for a second consecutive win.
Safe Bet: Against the Bulls or Bears going for a second consecutive win.
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Sucker Bet: Lovie Smith’s personnel wishes (Bob Babich, Adam Archuleta) vs. Jerry Angelo’s best instincts.
Safe Bet: The Bears amazing failure to draft the right running back.
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Sucker Bet: The Cubs making meaningful acquisitions around Christmas.
Safe Bet: The Cubs move to get: 12 second basemen, 11 left fielders, 10 changes to Wrigley, 9 concrete repairmen, 8 washed-up players, 7 hot dog vendors, 6 girls with tight shirts, 5 throwback jerseys, 4 pitchers with arm trouble, 3 more night games, 2 Prior shoulder surgeries, and 1 more awful losing year.
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Sucker Bet: Believing the president in areas of intelligence.
Safe Bet: Believing the president lacks intelligence.
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Sucker Bet: Believing in Kenny Williams’ boldness.
Safe Bet: Watching Kenny Williams boldly go nowhere.
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Sucker Bet: The Cubs improve themselves by ditching players like Jacque Jones.
Safe Bet: The Cubs improve the lives of players like Jacque Jones by ditching them to much better teams.
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Sucker Bet: The Bush Administration changing course on Iran.
Safe Bet: They just recirculated their Iraq memos with the “q” changed to an “n.”
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Sucker Bet: Ozzie Guillen will mature.
Safe Bet: Ozzie Guillen will say something stupid enough to get him fired.
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Sucker Bet: Expecting responsive customer service during the holiday season.
Safe Bet: Digging yourself deeper even though your harangue at the customer service rep was totally justified.
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Sucker Bet: The Bears returning to the Super Bowl any time soon.
Safe Bet: Fans blaming coordinators for problems caused by lack of talent at key positions.
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Bears at Washington
Storyline: It’s really hard to say much about this game. The Redskins started well and then the wheels fell off. The Bears started the year without wheels and on four concrete blocks.
Reality: This contest resembles a hockey game: Action happens between the blue lines, nobody has possession for long, and a few players dish out some hits.
Pick: Washington Minus 3, Over 37 Points Scored.
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Sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 5%
Recommended Sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: <1% * For more Emery, see the Kool-Aid archive, and the Over/Under archive. Emery accepts comments from Bears fans reluctantly and everyone else tolerably.
Posted on December 6, 2007