By Eric Emery
A friend who is now sporting a blue-and-orange Kool-Aid mustache recently told me, “This is the wrong year to be a Bears hater.”
Really?
This begs the question: Why should somebody like the Bears?
This year is only one year in a stored tradition of stinking. There are plenty of reasons to hate the Bears – even this year.
Messes of the Midway. In the last 40 years, the Bears are 298-310-2. They have just 14 winning seasons, reached the playoffs just 12 times, and compiled a 7-11 playoff record. They have one Super Bowl victory. That’s just one more than the Cardinals have over the same stretch of time. In other words, Ditka 1, Dennis Green 0.
Ditka. Without Ditka. the Bears are 192-248 over the last 40 years. Only a team as historically mediocre as the Bears could make Mike Ditka a legend.
The Fridge. In the last 40 years, the Bears fielded four undisputed outstanding players: Gale Sayers, Dick Butkus, Walter Payton, and Mike Singletary. William Perry has one more Super Bowl TD than all of them.
The Super Bowl Shuffle. A one-hit wonder.
New Soldier Field. An insult to veterans, fans, urban planners, architects, and democracy.
Michael McCaskey. He wrote a management book but didn’t read it.
Storied Mediocrity. The Bears’ storied tradition is a myth. I mean, does this sound impressive? “Tragedies and Mediocrity, 1964-1981”; “Chicago Football Renaissance, 1982-1992”; “Stumbling into a New Century, 1993-2003″; ” Renewed Promise, 2004- ” . Don’t pour Kool-Aid down my leg and tell me it’s raining.
11-5 + 13-3 = 0-2. It don’t mean a thing without that championship swing. The Bears have been flashes-in-the-pan who crawl out of the fetal position every couple of years to make it into the first round of the playoffs and crawl back in. This year will be no different.
The curse. After all, Bears are just big Cubs.
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For more Emery, see the Kool-Aid archive, and the Over/Under archive. He can be contacted at Eric_Emery12345@yahoo.com.
Posted on January 4, 2007