By Marty Gangler

The Cardinals and Brewers face off in a big NL Central series this week, so we here at The Cub Factor thought this would be a good time to take a closer look at the Cubs’ biggest division rivals.
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CARDS: Named after a bird.
BREWERS: Named after the people who make beer.
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CARDS: Team color is red, like wine.
BREWERS: Team color is blue, like beer.
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CARDS: Part of the Budweiser family, which brought you Spuds MacKenzie and Cindy McCain.
BREWERS: Part of the Miller family, which brought you Man Law and “ingredients not normally found in beer.”

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Posted on July 21, 2008

By Marty Gangler

When we compared this year’s edition of the Cubs to the classic characters from Happy Days a couple of weeks ago, we didn’t anticipate the addition of a new cast member to shore up the ratings. But will Rich Harden turn out to be a savvy selection like Frasier Crane who makes everyone around him better or will he turn out to be a clubhouse jinx like Cousin Oliver? We think he’ll likely turn out more like one of these additions to M*A*S*H.
* Charles Emerson Winchester: He’s great at what he does but accumulates such high pitch-counts that he has to turn to speed to make it through the year.
* B.J. Hunnicutt. Nice guy, consummate professional, doesn’t provide too many laughs and ultimately winds up back on the West Coast.
* Sherman T. Potter. On the tail end of his career and prone to tendinitis.
* The new version of Margaret Houlihan. Less hot, less strident, and in not quite as good shape.
* The new version of Klinger. He’s no Radar O’Maddux, but he eventually adjusts to his new assignment and loses the dresses.
* That Swedish nurse that one episode. A dream come true. And then he’s gone.

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Posted on July 14, 2008

By Marty Gangler

“In a 35-day stretch that ended Sunday on a steamy afternoon at Busch Stadium, the Cubs survived two West Coast trips, two City Series, a day trip from Toronto to Cooperstown to Tampa Bay, manager Lou Piniella’s Tropicana Field homecoming and injuries to their ace, their leadoff man and their center fielder,” Paul Sullivan writes in the Tribune today. “The only thing Piniella could do after the long, grueling stretch ended was lean back in his chair with a cold one and be thankful it was over.”
Tell us about it! We’re exhausted!
Just when it looked like the Cubs were world-beaters, that same old Cubbiness started to show. It reminded us here at The Cub Factor about the way the Cubs are like life’s little activities.

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Posted on July 7, 2008

By Marty Gangler

The Cubs were not only swept by the White Sox over the weekend, they lost their fourth straight for the first time this season and they’ve lost eight of 12. Feeling sentimental for happier days, we here at The Cub Factor got to thinking about how the Cubs are kind of like the cast of Happy Days.
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Cub: Jim Edmonds
HD character: Ralph Malph
Why: No one really likes him, but it turns out he’s still got it.
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Cub: Derrek Lee
HD character: The Fonz
Why: He’s certainly the coolest Cub, but also because what he does with the glove to save errant throws from Aramis Ramirez is as magical and reality-defying as Fonzie banging on a jukebox to select a song.
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Cub: Alfonso Soriano
HD character: Joanie
Why: His nickname may be Fonzie, but if there were a jukebox in the clubhouse Soriano would lose it in the sun. No, Alfonso is more like the little sister who looks up to older brother Derrek Lee but in the end is still just Erin Moran.

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Posted on June 30, 2008

By Marty Gangler

Every season there are a few milestones that help us figure out what kind of team fans have are dealing with. A lot of people would say that this weekend was a watershed moment – that we learned something about this Cub team as they swept the White Sox this weekend. Here is a list of of what I learned the last few days:
1. Two-month old babies are still not at the “Hey, listen to me!” stage.
2. You need to make sure the gas is turned on or else the burners on your new grill won’t light.
3. The grass looks better when cut on a lower setting.
4. I need a new job because well, I don’t like the one I have so much.
5. Diet and exercise sound like an easy concept but it’s a pain to pull off over the long haul.
Wait, you mean I was supposed to learn something about the Cubs this week? Well, I didn’t. I knew that they were dynamite at home and a bit rocky on the road. And well, that hasn’t changed. Getting beat by the Rays was a bigger deal than sweeping the White Sox in reality’s book. The White Sox are a decent team, but the Rays are one of this season’s elite teams. So there you go.

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Posted on June 23, 2008

By Marty Gangler

The big issue this week is Alfonso Soriano’s injury and him being out six weeks. Oh, and the Cubs went 5-1 for the week and are currently 20 games over .500 – yeah, that’s not a typo, 20 games over .500. For anyone who thinks the Cubs are in trouble because of the Fonz going down for awhile, let me tell you this: Stop it. They will be fine. And Uncle Lou likes getting his hands dirty with lineup changes, so he might even prefer this.
Sure, when Soriano is super-hot he can carry a team, but this team doesn’t even need that now. They’ll probably be better off changing things up. I mean, being 20 games over .500 is probably boring. Winning all the time has to be kind of bland after awhile. Imagine going to the park and having no idea what position and/or spot in the batting order you will have. That’s got to be pretty fun, right? At least it’s not boring and honestly Soriano was the most boring player in the line-up.
Okay, he wasn’t boring at the plate, and yeah, it was always a crap-shoot in the field on any fly ball so that wasn’t boring, but he was boring in the sense that he always has to bat first. What a snoozefest at the lead-off position. And really, as a Cub fan we really need some excitement. Honestly, have you ever watched a Cub team that you knew would score like this team? It’s like, when Reed Johnson hits a three-run homer in Toronto instead of going crazy I just go “Hey, I wonder if that means he’s going to play center more once Soriano’s back.” And then I wonder what will happen if Edmonds keeps hitting. Even a tremendous outing by Jason Marquis seems like old hat now. We Cub fans need some excitement, and lineup changes might just be what the doctor ordered. I for one am really looking forward to it.

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Posted on June 16, 2008

By Marty Gangler

The Cubs ventured into Pacific Standard Time last week and rewarded fans with insomnia or up late like I was with a crying baby still early in his rookie year (still undetermined if he’s left-handed, but by God we’re gonna try!). And speaking of crying babies, how ’bout Big Z?
Anyway, you don’t have to stay away from Wrigley Field when the Cubs are on the road. On off-weekends, the Cubs offer 90-minute tours of the Friendly Confines for 25 bucks a crack. So my wife and I headed over to Clark and Addison (you can park on the street on off-days!) to check it out. And I have to say that for an old building, well, that place looks . . . old. And pretty cramped and dilapidated and behind the times, and did I mention cramped and old? All of those people who think this place is some kind of baseball shrine that should never be touched up again should go on this tour. You’ll see a place where they’ve shoved square pegs in round holes at every turn. Maybe this is blasphemy, but go check it out; you’ll be surprised how dysfunctional the place is.
We saw some pretty strange things too, and compiled a list of what goes on at Wrigley Field while the team is away.

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Posted on June 9, 2008

By Marty Gangler

Holy crap. The Cubs are rolling. I mean they are rolling like a big ball of stuff down a big-ass steep hill. And I just want to let all Cub fans know that I am not going to talk about the following things because they Cubs had such a good week.
* You can still throw a dart into the Cubs dugout . . .
* You could throw a dart at a schedule and have a hard time landing on a team worse than the Rockies.
* You could throw a dart at Ted Lilly and not know whether you’ve just stuck Good Ted or Bad Ted.
* You could throw a dart at Jim Edmonds and probably get away with it, but tests are still inconclusive.

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Posted on June 2, 2008

By Marty Gangler

As a fan of the Chicago National League ballclub over the years, I have seen my fair share of things.
Things like losing, hopes that are crushed, and more losing.
But this season I am seeing something that I just don’t understand. The Cubs are patient. The Cubs make pitchers work and get into other teams bullpen where the really bad pitchers are. This is no secret this year and people have been talking about it so I’m not breaking new ground here. But seriously, how did this happen so quickly? Did someone pick up each player and move a little switch in their backs from the “swings at everything” position to the “I like walks” position? Is baseball really that mental of a game that things can change that easily?
Apparently the answer is Kosuke Fukodome. He can instill the virtues of patience at the plate by just showing up. And he doesn’t even speak English.
And what I mean by that is that it’s not like he had a big sit down with everyone on the team over a few cases of Old Style tallboys and instilled the wisdom of being patient at the plate. I don’t think that happened. First off, he doesn’t seem like that type of guy, and second he can’t really speak English!
But apparently the Aura of Kosuke has made the team much better offensively. And I think it’s great. But while he’s at it there are a few other things that his Aura should help with. I mean, why the hell not. I know it’s a lot to ask of an Aura but hey, we’ve spent a lot of blood, sweat, beers, and tears rooting for this team over the years and we want a winner. So if it’s not too much trouble, Aura, go spend some time in Alfonso Soriano’s head. Or at least around his glove. Also, make Carlos Zambrano not so angry but instilled with the virtues of meditation and wisdom – those are Eastern philosophies, right? And with what little free time you have left, Aura, please check in with Kerry Wood whenever he’s facing his first batter – if only for the sake of that batter’s health and career.

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Posted on May 27, 2008

By Marty Gangler

I took in Sunday’s game against the Pirates from a left-field rooftop. Here’s how it compared to watching the game from inside Wrigley Field.
SIGHT LINES: From the left-field rooftops you can’t see the left-field warning track, so you can’t see how afraid of the wall Alfonso Soriano is. ADVANTAGE: Rooftop.
CROWDS: Although the rooftop is full of people, it is not as full as Wrigley Field itself. And people suck. ADVANTAGE: Rooftop.
TOILETS: There are no troughs on the rooftops, unless you count the yards below. ADVANTAGE: Rooftop.

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Posted on May 18, 2008