By Marty Gangler
If nothing else this week, the Cubs proved that there is nothing to worry about – that is how I started last week’s Cub Factor. Well, what a difference a week can make. Because if nothing else, the Cubs proved there are plenty of things to worry about. They don’t have to worry about getting stuck with Dusty Baker through a goofy rule change or be concerned with Ted Lilly making a birdhouse over at Koyie Hill’s woodshop, but they should start to worry about people taking turns on the disabled list and forgetting how to play anything close to winning baseball. Those are pretty big things to worry about.
It’s time to bring in a slumpbuster.

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Posted on May 26, 2009

By Marty Gangler
If nothing else this week, the Cubs proved that there is nothing to worry about. Despite all the nagging injuries, DL stints, tantrums, and bullpen meltdowns the Cubs sit only 1.5 games back of the Brewers for the division lead. For those of you keeping score at home, 1.5 games is like nothing right now. And technically the Cubs would win the wild card if the season ended today. But the season doesn’t end today. So there’s still plenty of time for the Cubs to blow it. To this point we here at The Cub Factor wanted to think about what could possibly go wrong for the Cubs to actually be in real trouble.
* Bud Selig decides to “spice up” division races by randomly switching managers of teams and the Cubs get stuck with Dusty Baker.
* During a pivotal series against the Cardinals, Tony LaRussa demands that Mike Fontenot and Aaron Miles be measured to see if they meet the league minimum height requirement. They are both deemed too small and the Cubs in violation lose every game they played in.
* Ryan Dempster accidentally makes Ryan Theriot disappear during a magic trick gone awry.
* Lou Piniella is suspended for charging Neal Cotts on the mound and Alan Trammel becomes manager.

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Posted on May 18, 2009

By Marty Gangler
Remember when you and your little brother had that “good” relationship? You were the top dog and he accepted it? And then something changed, right? He was no longer happy just being second fiddle and he let you know about it. You didn’t automatically get the first crack at the pile of pork chops; he wanted the best one and he wasn’t going to accept the second best (or third if Dad got top billing) pork chop that had that little extra fat on it. Remember how that all went down?
You may be asking yourself, what the heck is he talking about or you may be saying, I know where he is going with this. Either way, I’m talking about the Milwaukee Brewers.
I took in the Cubs/Brewers game on Friday night this week and I have to say – what happened to the fun little trip up north? Because after that game – the Brewers won 3-2 in dramatic fashion – things really got weird.

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Posted on May 11, 2009

By Marty Gangler
Well geez, it’s about time. That’s what many a Cub fan would have to say after the Cubs opened the week losing two of three to the D-Backs and then taking the last three of four from the Marlins. So they finished the week 4-3, but it feels better than that because they won the last three in a row. But it was still just 4-3. I did some math, and I think it’s right, and if a baseball team won four of every seven games for the whole year they would get 92 or so wins for the year – which actually might be enough to win the NL Central. But still, it doesn’t feel that good this week. With all of this in mind, including the math, we here at the Cub Factor would like to list a few things that feel like this week for the Cubs.
* You think your girlfriend is cheating on you so you confront her about it and it turns out that she isn’t but she’s now considering it because you accused her of it. So, you’re glad she isn’t cheating, but there’s a bad taste in your mouth.
* You really hate your job but don’t want to be fired and then find out that you aren’t fired but you still might be if you don’t show that you like your job. So it’s good you still have a job but it’s still the same job. So you have that bad taste in your mouth.
* You come home from a hard day and you are very hungry. You thought you had a Tombstone in the freezer but you forgot that you ate that last week watching all those Bulls overtimes, but you find a stray Hot Pocket that must have fallen out of the box some time ago so you throw it in the microwave. But then it turns out to be a broccoli and ham lean pocket which really isn’t very tasty. So, you are glad you are not hungry anymore but you literally have a bad taste in your mouth.
And that’s what it feels like to be a Cubs fan this week.

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Posted on May 4, 2009

By Marty Gangler
As some readers – and Mitch Williams fans – may recall, I am a new father.
Okay, I’m not like a drive the new car off the lot new dad, but my son just turned one, so I still have a hint of that “new dad smell.”
And one year into fatherhood, I’ve just begun to notice a few similarities shared by my son, Mitchell, and the Cubs – particularly when it comes to a batch of new “challenging” habits each have seemed to pick up at the same time. Just like the Cubs are no longer simply cute and adorable, my son is no longer simply cute and adorable. Instead, they’re both driving me crazy. Here’s how.

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Posted on April 27, 2009

By Marty Gangler
Being a Cubs fan this year is kind of like when you get back together with that crazy girlfriend. You feel good about it and think it’s great but deep down you’re really not sure it’s going to work. It’s happening, but not really happ’nin. So yeah, we all know the Cubs are good. They are “casually dating good” but are they “take home to mom good”? Which kind of means “regular season” good and not “win it all” good. But just like that crazy girlfriend, you kind of never know what is going to happen and that’s always good, it’s always interesting, and it’s always some kind of wild ride.

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Posted on April 20, 2009

By Marty Gangler
Okay. It’s been a week and although that is not much of a sample size there may be a few things I have to re-think. And, well, it’s time for the first week knee-jerk reaction. It’s really all the first week is good for. With this in mind a few things don’t make as much sense as I thought they did. For one, Alfonso Soriano seems to be doing fine in the leadoff role. And Derrek Lee does look like he sucks now. And Kosuke Fukudome can actually hit. So what does this all mean? It means that I was pretty wrong in my thinking on all of these counts. Yes, it’s only been a week but maybe these things are actually true. Which makes me think of some other things I might be wrong about and should change my mind on – both Cub-related and otherwise. So with all of this in mind, we here at the Cub Factor now believe the following statements to be true:
* Ron Santo is really a tremendously talented broadcaster.
* I will sell my house next week.
* Wrigley Field is a shrine and should never be torn down.
* My straight job is very secure and I have nothing to worry about.

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Posted on April 13, 2009

By Marty Gangler
As the Chicago Cubs begin another season I’d like to ask all fans a question. How’s your mouth? Do you still have that bad taste in it? And as you probably do, does it still have that really sour milk tang to it? It took me a good 3 months before I could even talk about the ’08 playoffs but even now I still can’t get that really bad “way too long after the expiration date” tongue funk out of my mouth. And you know what? It’s not going to go away until October. The Cubs embark on the most meaningless regular season in the history of the franchise. Because they could win 116 regular games and it wouldn’t matter because you mouth will still be polluted. Sure they tried to help your dirty mouth with the acqusitions of Kevin Gregg and Milton Bradley but they’re weak breath mints in a pewtrid stanking mouth filled with rotting bits of hot dog and broken dreams.
I’m not saying that this season won’t be fun. Bradley, Big Z and Uncle Lou should provide plenty-o-fun at the old ballpark. Let’s not forget these guys are nuts. As well as seeing how Little Mike Fontenot does at second base and what happens with newly christened Cub savior Micah Hoffpauir. Plus there’s the whole thing about how Soriano can’t field and Fukudome can’t hit. That’s fun. So there will be some things to talk about but it all doesn’t mean a hill a beans a difference until October gets close. So let’s enjoy these guys until it’s time to see if they learned anything since last year, we have six months until it matters.

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Posted on April 6, 2009

By Marty Gangler

Okay, it’s been a little more than three months since the debacle known as the 2008 National League Playoffs. And I guess this is as good a time as any to again think about the perpetual losers that inhabit the North Side of Chicago. I tried not to think or talk about these losers but was rudely reminded on January 1st when another somewhat perpetual losing Chicago team (at least before this season) played a game at good ol’ Wrigley Field. But it’s time to start thinking about the Cubs again. I mean, as much as any Cub fan said, “I’m done being a fan of this team” after the last two playoffs (dis)appearances how can you not come back? I mean, seriously. C’mon. After all this time you think that you’re out? And if you really can get out now, maybe you may have never been in.
Off-Season In Review: – The Cubs ditch one of their most lovable players in Mark DeRosa and pick up quite possibly one of the most unlikable guys in baseball in Milton Bradley. Maybe they are on to something, the more I think about this. DeRosa understood what was going on and probably felt the pressure of 100 years whereas Milton Bradley is a friggin nut-bag whack-job who isn’t going to get it and will not feel the pressure of 100 years. Ever wonder why guys like Manny Ramirez come through in the clutch so well? It’s because he has no idea what’s going on and doesn’t care. Now, Bradley isn’t Manny but maybe he’s, um, Mini-Manny? The Cubs also got rid of Jason Marquis. He won’t be missed.
Rest of the Off-Season in Preview: Whatever.

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Posted on January 13, 2009

By Marty Gangler

Okay. What is there to say about what happened again in the playoffs? And if you are any sort of fan of The Cub Factor, what is there to say that’s kind of funny about what happened again this year in the playoffs? The only answer is: nothing. There is nothing funny about what happened. But is there hope? Hope sucks. Here is an e-mail exchange I had with a colleague from Boston who is a big Red Sox fan:

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Posted on October 9, 2008