By George Ofman
Jay Cutler’s quarterback rating was a 7.9. The snowfall in Baltimore was twice as much.
It says a lot about the storm. It says even more about Cutler.
He’s been a bust! There’s no other way to put it.
As much as I’ve tried to defend Cutler because most of what’s around him is a sham, his performance has been worthy of great skepticism. You can only say he needs better receivers, better play-calling and a better offensive line so much. After awhile you have to wonder how this guy was a Pro Bowl quarterback just a year ago.

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Posted on December 21, 2009

By The Beachwood Bowl Affairs Desk
Once again it’s time for our annual guide to America’s college bowl games. Read it, weep, and stay away from the parlays this holiday season.
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Game: The New Mexico Bowl
Date: Dec. 19 (3:30 p.m., ESPN)
Matchup: Fresno State vs. Wyoming
Where: University Stadium, Albuquerque
Comment: It’s a shoot-out in the Old West! It’s Shootout at the O.K. Corral II! It’s . . . a bowl game no one really cares about. But for problem gamblers out there, remember the Beachwood Bowl Series rule: Never depend on a school named after a state that doesn’t exist. Wyoming in a walk.
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Game: The Beef O’Brady’s Bowl
Date: Dec. 19 (7 p.m., ESPN)
Matchup: UCF vs. Rutgers
Where: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg
Comment: Formerly the St. Petersburg Bowl, this game is now sponsored by a chain of “family sports restaurants” that just rolled out Smokin’ Jack Sliders. Be sure to choose the mashed potatoes with Guinness gravy as one of your sides. (Three locations in Illinois!)
Oh yeah, the game. Central Florida has the home-state edge, but they’ll be done in by the Chocolate Eruption Cake. O’Brady’s hasn’t made it to Jersey yet, so we’ll go with the Guidos.

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Posted on December 18, 2009

By Dan O’Shea
The NBA is witnessing a superstar in the making this year, and his name is Kevin Durant.
The third-year Oklahoma City shooting guard/small forward had a lot of people excited heading into this season, and went in mid-first round in many fantasy leagues. It was no secret he was going to be good, but he has out-performed expectations thus far. His overall stats look almost LeBron-like: 28.5 points per game, 7.3 rebounds, 1.3 steals, 1.6 three-pointers. All of those marks are tenths of a point above or below LeBron’s, and his nearly 90 percent free throw rating is better than King James. Though he has far fewer assists, which tarnishes the overall stat sheet a bit, he probably would have more if there were anyone in OKC worth passing to.
If Durant keeps this up, he could seriously vault ahead of Kobe and Dwyane Wade to become the No. 3 fantasy pick next year after LeBron and Chris Paul. There’s also a good chance he also could lead the NBA this year in scoring, assuming Carmelo Anthony cools off.
Speaking of ‘Melo, Durant joins ‘Melo and King James as cream of the crop at small forward (though he obviously needs a decent nickname). That provides me with the only segue I need to assess in our Fantasy Fix Action Ratings some current hot performers at the SF slot (a position we’ll talk more about in a moment):

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Posted on December 16, 2009

By George Ofman
The first thing you think of when mentioning the Bears and Bulls is: BLOW THEM UP!
This is not to suggest recruiting some very shady characters with connections to Osama bin Laden, though the idea of relocating either of these franchises to very mountainous outposts is somewhat alluring. Deconstructing to reconstructing seems to be the hue and cry with our favorite whipping boys of the gridiron and hardwood. (The Cubs could gladly be included in this less-than-cheerful holiday column, but since they’re not playing at this moment and still saddled with their own problem child in Milton Bradley, we’ll save them for another date).
The paying customers – and those without a ticket who simply pay with time and emotion – have lost patience. The next time you see a coach use two timeouts to whip out a challenge flag it might cost you more than patience. The next time you see an opposing player tie his shoe in the middle of a basketball game while your home team figures out what to do next could force your fingers to punch those dreaded numbers: 911. Find out whether your health insurance policy covers sports related mental breakdowns.

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Posted on December 15, 2009

By Jim Coffman
Brian Billick knew the rule. The former Super Bowl champion coach and current Fox analyst knew almost immediately that Greg Olsen’s attempt at a catch midway through the fourth quarter – the one that enabled Lovie Smith to make history as the first NFL coach to blow two timeouts on one challenge – was not a reception.
As Billick explained during Fox’s broadcast of the Packers’ 21-14 dismissal of the Bears on Sunday, “The receiver (Olsen) failed to complete the act” of securing the football.
In other words, when a receiver tries to make a catch but doesn’t land squarely on his feet, he has to maintain control of the ball all the way through hitting to the ground and then coming to rest. If the shock of his body hitting the ground knocks the ball loose and he can’t regain possession before it hits the ground, it isn’t a catch. And it hasn’t been a catch for a while now.
Referee Mike Carey knew the rule. He couldn’t have looked at more than one angle before he removed the headset, hustled back onto the field and reported the results of an especially speedy replay review.
In so doing, he ensured that one of the first stories Bears fans will tell in the future when they look back at the lame late days of Lovie’s head-coaching tenure is the one when the coach proved himself not just replay challenged but twice as replay challenged as anyone else had ever been.

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Posted on December 14, 2009

By George Ofman
Vinny Del Negro is still the head coach of the Chicago Bulls. Lovie Smith is still the head coach of the Chicago Bears. And Milton Bradley is still property of the Chicago Cubs. Do you like your strychnine with milk or sugar?
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While many are foaming at the mouth for Vinny’s head (and let’s face it, he’s not exactly an Einstein at Xs and Os), look what he’s coaching, or in this case, what he’s not coaching. What’s worse, what big-name free agent wants to venture here unless he knows a big-time coach will be waiting? If the boys in the front office don’t get it right this time, the Bulls are doomed to mediocrity – or less – for years.
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Wonder why the Packers are only three-point favorites at Soldier Field this Sunday? It’s Lovie’s Super Bowl. He seems to coach his best against the Packers. Final score: Green Bay 28, Bears 17.
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Chet Coppock picked his best and worst Chicago sportscasters over the past 25 years. I didn’t check but did Chet put himself on both lists?

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Posted on December 11, 2009

By Dan O’Shea

Yao Ming and Greg Oden don’t have much in common – other than being storybook giants come to life, of course. Though Yao and Oden both play center, they play vastly different games, Yao being an artist with a shooting touch and Oden following the more typical recent model of bringing rebound and shot-block thunder from above.
Yet, when all is said and done, both may be remembered for having that particular star-crossed quality: Incredibly talented, frequently injured. Yao is out this year after foot surgery, and for all his notoriety hasn’t played a full season in the last six years. Oden just suffered a likely season-ending knee injury after a very promising first month in which he led the NBA in blocks. His career games-played tally reads like this:
Season 1: 0 GP
Season 2: 61 GP (out of an 82-game season)
Season 3: 21 GP
In those 21 games, Oden mostly showed us what we thought in pre-season; that he would play well above his late-round ranking. But, another season is lost. I don’t know where Yao will end up being ranked next pre-season, but Oden is sure to fall back again into 10th or 11th round territory. Everything about him will tell you to take the leap of faith, but you may have to do it expecting only a half season of returns.
The injuries to Yao and Oden, and a decline in performance by other supposed star centers like Pau Gasol, Dwight Howard and Al Jefferson may have left your fantasy team middling without an effective man in the middle. Here’s a few hot performers who have been picking up the slack – and what you should do with them – in this week’s Fantasy Fix Action Ratings:

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Posted on December 9, 2009

By The Beachwood Ricketts Affairs Desk
The Cubs recently announced a new “platinum” level pricing tier to go along with its gold, silver and bronze tiers. The Beachwood has learned that the Cubs are also plutonium category to its pricing plan to capture even more dollars. The Plutonium Plan would consist of box seats behind the Cubs dugout for $1,000 a game plus the following perks:
* Get to play second base for one inning.
* Get to perform one double-switch per game.
* You can bring the farm animal of your choice to sit with you.
* Upon your death someone can sprinkle your ashes on the field.
* Your index finger will be photographed, blown up, and become the new official we’re #1 foam finger template.

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Posted on December 8, 2009

By Jim Coffman
If Jim Hendry had to give away fan favorite Jake Fox to subtract Aaron Miles’s lousy contract from the payroll, just think of what teams are demanding from the Cubs for the favor of removing Milton Bradley from the roster. It can’t be anything short of Derrek Lee, can it? And how did this deal with the Athletics pass just about completely under the local sports commentary radar last week? I suppose new owner Tom Ricketts is still on a honeymoon of sorts but this was a terrible trade on its face and it bodes ill for the rest of the Cubs off-season.

Ofman: Bears still stink

In other words, as bad as the Bears season has been, the Cubs off-season might end up worse.
Yes I know the Cubs picked up forgettable Jeff Gray, a righty reliever, and a couple prospects, but what they really gained was $1.7 million worth of salary relief. Of course even that isn’t very good, what with Miles being owed more than $2 million next year as part of the unfathomable two-year contract GM Jim Hendry lavished on him before last season.
In other words, Fox, who has plenty of potential as a designated hitter and who could end up being a good enough corner infielder (he never had a real chance to prove himself with the Cubs on a day-to-day basis), wasn’t enough for A’s general manager Billy Beane. Beane had to have “cash considerations” as well. And Hendry forked it over. Fox finished with 11 homers and 44 RBI in just over 200 at-bats for the Cubs last year. His on-base percentage (.311) wasn’t good enough but we’ll never know (barring another trade) what he could have done in the National League with consistent at-bats. Late in the season, manager Lou Piniella didn’t hide the fact that he regretted not giving Fox the every day shot at third base when Aramis Ramirez was out for a month-plus with the shoulder injury.

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Posted on December 7, 2009

By George Ofman
Tell me you didn’t find the Bears-Rams game entertaining? Seriously, what else were you watching, Fareed Zakaria GPS on CNN? Wasn’t the idea of one bad team (yours) playing another bad team (much worse) just a tad alluring?
You know why you were watching. It was for the same reason I was and many others were; to see if the Bears would actually lose.

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Posted on December 7, 2009