By George Ofman

Oney Guillen is still tweeting even if his 15 minutes of fame ended about five days ago.
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And after watching Cristobal Huet let everything in goal at Columbus except one of Oney’s tweets, I believe you better get used to saying Antti Niemi . . . and often.
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Only three goalies have ever won a Stanley Cup as a rookie and two of them (Ken Dryden and Patrick Roy) are Hall of Famers. I can’t say it won’t happen again, I just don’t think it’ll be this June.
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At least the NHL passed a tougher rule against headhunters. But it refused to shrink the net anytime Huet plays.
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This is either a sign of the Cubs apocalypse or someone needs new furniture: Derrek Lee hurt his back when the chair he was eating in collapsed. I could understand this if it was Carlos Silva, but Lee?

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Posted on March 26, 2010

By Dan O’Shea

The basketball season is as good as over, so let’s hand out a few awards.
I fully intended to give my fantasy MVP award to someone other than SF LeBron James, specifically SG/SF Kevin Durant, though I thought even SF Carmelo Anthony and PF Dirk Nowitzki made their own good cases for much of the season. Durant, the only player other than James to score more than 2,000 points thus far (2,007 to LeBron’s 2,048 through Monday), is ever so close in all categories and a far better free-throw shooter, but in a game that’s all numbers, you’ve got to go with King James.
Incidentally, I was at the old ball gym on Madison last Friday night when James and the Cavaliers came to town, and the king looked pretty much like an average citizen for most of the first half as the depleted Bulls stayed close. He turned the ball over three times in a short stretch and took a handful of awkward shots. Yet, in the second half and particularly in the fourth quarter, he suddenly couldn’t miss, whether shooting, rebounding or passing. He finished with 29 points, 11 rebounds and seven assists. During free throws by other players, he gabbed with the Cavs’ bench or made eye contact with the crowd, and in most cases when the ball was in play, hung back on defense looking a bit disinterested until you realized he was in exactly the right place for a jump shot rebound. Overall, it seemed like he could have scored 50 and logged another triple-double if he felt the need.
So, LeBron James is my MVP. Better luck to Durant next year; he still played himself into a top three pick in the next fantasy draft. Here’s the rest:

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Posted on March 24, 2010

By Jim Coffman

I was prepared to pump out another screed today, something along the lines of: “Maybe the kids from Cornell, the Ivy Leaguers who qualified for the Sweet 16 with a dominant victory over Wisconsin on Sunday will be the ones to speak up. Maybe they’ll point out the ridiculousness of it all, of college basketball players putting on this amazing show and receiving so little in return… ” blah, blah, blah.
Hell, the Big Red guys aren’t even compensated with athletic scholarships (prohibited by the Ivy League) for all the revenue they help generate (the last many-year TV deal the NCAA signed with CBS to televise the NCAA men’s basketball tournament was for more than $6 billion).
But even POTUS doesn’t care about the raw deal at the heart of it all. His support for health care reform may not be popular, but Barack Obama’s college basketball fanaticism certainly earns sizable voter approval. The president, whose bracket reportedly isn’t doing very well, is on board with the huge percentage of basketball fans who just ride the wave of emotion created by the annual “amateur” basketball extravaganza.

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Posted on March 22, 2010

By George Ofman

The NHL is finally getting it right even though it’s referees can’t. The eight-game suspension of Anaheim Ducks defenseman James Wisniewski for his irresponsible and dirty (yes, dirty) hit on the Blackhawks’ Brent Seabrook tells me someone in the league office has a functioning brain. It doesn’t function very often but it did this time.
Wisniewski was assessed a mere minor penalty for charging. The referees in this game should have their whistles confiscated. I say suspend them since they can’t figure out what a major penalty is. Hawks coach Joel Quenneville screamed bloody murder:

TrackNotes: Showdown off.

“You hit a guy without the puck, you could kill a guy. It’s the most dangerous hit in the history of the game, alright. He tried to hurt him. If that’s not intent, that’s as bad a hit as you could ever have in the game.”
This comes just a few days after the Washington Capitals’ Alex Ovechkin, the game’s best offensive player, shoved Brian Campbell into the board, breaking his clavicle and a rib. This also was a dirty hit. Funny thing; there are some pundits who think these aren’t dirty hits opting to call them reckless. It’s reckless if it happens once. It’s dirty if it happens often.
Do the Hawks need an enforcer?

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Posted on March 19, 2010

By Thomas Chambers

“The horse will tell us A) How he/she feels; B) When he/she wants to run.”
Fine, horse whisperer. But it’s not that simple.
It was a curious day Saturday, at least for Rachel Alexandra, who lost in the New Orleans Ladies at Fair Grounds. Twenty minutes later, super mare Zenyatta kept her record perfect at 15-0 in winning the Santa Margarita at Santa Anita.
But the antics of owner Jess Jackson and trainer Steve Asmussen and the seeming befuddlement of jockey Calvin Borel before and after Rachel’s race begged two questions: If she’s not ready for the race, then why is she running? Or, if she really just needs the race to get into shape, why not simply let her run, win or lose, to get in shape?

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Posted on March 19, 2010

By The Beachwood Bracketology Bureau

Once again the sharpest minds at Beachwood HQ have come together to produce the nation’s best brackets. Watch for updates after every round. In fact, in four years of doing this we’ve never gotten a game wrong.
Championship Game
Butler vs. Duke. The privatization of America continues. No public option? This is not reform. Rooting for Butler is mandatory, but Duke finds a loophole.
Final Four
Michigan State vs. Butler. Neither team should be there, but both are. We give the edge to Tom Izzo Stradlin.
West Virginia vs. Duke. The preppies beat the coal miners because that’s just how life goes. Sigh.
Elite Eight
MIDWEST
Michigan State vs. Tennessee. Having already beaten the tournament’s best Big Ten team, the Vols should have little problem handling the Vols.
WEST
Butler vs. Kansas State. The KSU spite train rolls on.
EAST
Kentucky vs. West Virginia. Fried chicken beats coal.
SOUTH
Duke vs. Baylor. The Bears are cool but the Blue Demons are better.

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Posted on March 18, 2010

By Thomas Chambers

Like Sugar Bombs being “part of a nutritious breakfast” or government EPA-rated mileage at 23 city/31 highway, things are usually not as they appear.
I simply don’t believe Churchill Downs Inc. (CDI) is the benevolent caretaker of horse racing and America’s biggest racing event. And I don’t believe reality television has much to do with reality. Instead, it’s a crass capitalization on the fact that Americans have an innate desire to believe what they see on television and in newspapers.
I didn’t make much inner progress on these things after watching the latest installment of CBS’s Undercover Boss, where the geek head of CDI went “undercover” to experience the “lowest” jobs in the company. You know, the other side of the tracks. The only bit of reality they shoot for and hit is that the employees they meet have eminently more grease in their elbows, work ethic in their brains and pride in their souls than any cookie-cutter, interchangeable MBA above them.

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Posted on March 18, 2010

Fantasy basketball playoffs are getting started. If you are still looking for a little extra edge from the waiver wire to get you to the next level, we can’t promise miracles, but there a few unknowns who have been getting a chance recently with trades or injuries to others having changed the shape of things. Here are a few helpers likely to be available at each position if you are in need:
PG: Jrue Holiday, Philadelphia. Only 30% owned in Yahoo!, he recently became a starter and averaged 5.6 assists per game and 2 steals per game last week to go along with 14 points per game.
SG: Marcus Thornton, New Orleans. 63% owned. One of the players thrust into action after Chris Paul’s injury affected substitutions at both PG and SG, he averaged 19.8 PPG last week, mostly coming off the bench.
SF: James Johnson, Chicago. Overshadowed by Taj Gibson all year, this rookie has been getting time with Joakim Noah and Gibson both suffering from foot ailments. Available in virtually all leagues, he has scored 13.3 PPG and collected 1.3 blocks per game in his last three games.

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Posted on March 17, 2010

By Jim Coffman

Trying to muster enthusiasm for the NCAA tournament now . . . after all, my sports-mad 10-year-old son is totally into it. As of 6:30 p.m. Sunday he had already filled out a couple brackets and had plans for a couple more. Me, not so much
Is there anyone who isn’t totally blinded by allegiance to the alma mater or to the nearby big school/only game in town who doesn’t have at least a few reservations at this point? I suppose there are also those fans who don’t know better than to take each and every cue from ESPN and its stable of simple-minded personalities. And of course there are those who only care about the gambling.
For the rest of us . . . the fact that everyone involved in major college sports at a high level gets rich except the immature, easily manipulated stars of the show, and that most of the “student-athletes” don’t receive anything even approximating a decent education, and that coaches never get fired for lousy graduation rates . . . this stuff is troubling. A knowledgeable fan tunes into Dick Vitale singing the praises of low-life, parasitic coaches like West Virginia’s Bob Huggins and, well, it is disheartening.

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Posted on March 15, 2010

By George Ofman

News flash: Milton Bradley is an idiot!
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Meanwhile, Jim Hendry got Carlos Silva from Seattle in return for Bradley and then spent some of the leftover money on Xavier Nady who underwent his second Tommy John surgery last year and still can’t throw – and won’t be able to until at least June. Just perfect! $3.3 million for a designated hitter in the National League!

TrackNotes: Showdown looms.

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Get the feeling Cristobal Huet will be the odd man out again when the playoffs commence? Sure makes former GM Dale Tallon look even worse and it could make the Hawks very vulnerable since Antti Niemi is a rookie. It’s hard for me to pick the Hawks to win the Stanley Cup, let alone seeing them even getting there.

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Posted on March 12, 2010