Platinum Lip Synching
From the beginning @BeachwoodReport:
The #SuperBowl is already over in Australia.
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Madonna shooting up with Toradol just about now.
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Next year: Bud Light Plutonium
Posted on February 6, 2012
SportsMonday: The Goat Is Wes Welker But Tom Brady Was No Prize
By Jim Coffman
Wes Welker, meet Asante Samuel.
When fans look back at the Giants’ victory over the up-until-then undefeated Patriots in the Super Bowl XLII four years ago, they remember Eli Manning’s refusal to be sacked during the final drive and David Tyree’s amazing fourth-down catch, secured with one hand pressing the football against his helmet. It was the injury-plagued Tyree’s last catch in the NFL.
But perhaps even more important was Samuels’ dropped interception. Earlier in what eventually became the game-winning, last-two-minute drive, Samuel had a championship in his hands and couldn’t bring it in.
In the second half of the fourth quarter Sunday, Welker had the championship in his hands. Tom Brady had thrown him a 25-yard pass down the seam and Welker turned, left his feet and put up his mitts. The ball was in both of his hands before he failed to secure it and it bounced away. What would have been a huge first-down reception on the edge of the red zone instead became an incompletion and soon the Patriots were punting the ball back to the Giants with plenty of time for Manning to lead yet another game-winning drive.
Posted on February 6, 2012
The Super Bowl Is Decadent And Depraved
By Thomas Chambers
It is so sacred, so sovereign, that you must pay a large royalty to speaks its name in any kind of affinity.
Like William’s and Kate’s vows, the actual purpose for all the dearly beloved takes up an infinitesimal moment in an orgiastic half day of classically overdone spectacle and consumption.
And as for the sporting proposition of crowning a champion on the field of competition, the Super Bowl is American sports at its worst.
Posted on February 3, 2012
A Tribute To The World’s Greatest Cornerman
Honoring Angelo Dundee
“I did a fight once in Chicago when Angelo was working the corner of a heavyweight named James ‘Quick’ Tillis,” Barry Tompkins writes for CSNBayArea.com. “Tillis had a tendency to be a bit lazy in the ring and gave some fights away that he could have won with relative ease. On that night, Tillis was being – well, Tillis – and at one point Angelo took the fighter’s head in his hands and turned it toward the crowd. ‘You see that woman right there?’ Angelo said. ‘That’s your mother, and you’re embarrassing her.'”
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“Angelo Dundee died Wednesday in a Florida rehabilitation center, where he was being treated for a blood clot found after a flight back from visiting Muhammad Ali in Louisville for the fighter’s 70th birthday, son James Dundee said,” the Los Angeles Times reports. He was 90.
Posted on February 3, 2012
Fantasy Fix: Neither Chicago Baseball Team Has A Top 10 Player; The Detroit Tigers Have Three
By Dan O’Shea
I’m taking a preliminary crack at my fantasy baseball top 10 overall players. I’ll start positional rankings next week.
1. Matt Kemp, OF, LAD: I’m still not completely okay with Kemp as my No. 1, and I have no idea why, since he led the NL in home runs (39) and RBIs (126) last season and was No. 2 overall in batting average (.324) and No. 5 in stolen bases (40). I think I’m leery because he had a crappy 2010 after a great 2009. Anyway, he’s No. 1 for now.
Posted on February 1, 2012
SportsMonday: The Heat Is On But The Hate Isn’t
By Jim Coffman
The Heat hate is fading.
The Bulls’ first showdown with their primary rivals for the 2011-12 Eastern Conference crown (a 97-93 loss yesterday afternoon) brought it all back – the negative obsession that seethed through last season. Especially by the time last year’s playoffs rolled around, the only thing the vast majority of NBA fans cared about was that someone, anyone, knock off Miami.
The Magic couldn’t do it and neither could the Bulls. But miraculously enough, an old and fragile Dallas Mavericks team held together just long enough to eke out a win in six games in the Finals.
Posted on January 30, 2012
What Camp Counselors Know: Joe Paterno’s Shameful Legacy
By Roger Wallenstein
After reading Sports Illustrated’s articles on the death of Joe Paterno – a repetitive, pedestrian description of his life, career, iconic status, and the final shame of having unspeakable acts committed against young boys occurring just steps away from his office – like most people I’m ready to read about something else. Of course, I’ll be interested to find out the result of the prosecution of the monster who apparently committed the crimes, but other than that, I’m done with it.
Well, not completely. There are numbers of us who have worked with young people as teachers, coaches, mentors, supervisors, and in other positions. For 15 years I directed a resident summer camp, a place that too often can be a magnet for child predators. I’ve also spent an additional 22 years as a teacher and coach.
My wife and I stepped out of the camping business more than seven years ago, but the Penn State situation leaves us wondering what the people in Happy Valley were thinking. There wasn’t a camping conference in the ’80s and ’90s that didn’t include workshops and panels about child predators – how to detect them, how to interview job applicants, what to do if kids are molested under one’s watch. It was grim stuff, and we all took it seriously.
Posted on January 29, 2012
The 2012 Beachwood Super Bowl Halftime Prop Bet
By Natasha Julius
Updated February 6: The results are in!
Oh my GAWD, everybody!
The shadowy figures behind the Super Bowl halftime show have decided to ROCK OUR WORLD by transporting us back 20 years!
That’s right, y’all. It’s 1992, Lady Gaga is in kindergarten, and we’re all rushing to our local Border’s to buy Sex, Madonna’s shocking new book of mildly titillating pseudo-erotica. And can you even flipping BELIEVE, the Queen of Pop herself is totally going to play at the Super Bowl?! Don’t they know how current, exciting and controversial she is? Didn’t they see the video for “Justify My Love?” There were nipples in it, for pancakes’ sake! And not just one brief flash of Janet Jackson’s right hooter – I’m talking actual pairs of female nipples attached to actual BREASTS!!! If the Internet existed right now, it would be BLOWING the hell UP!
Posted on January 29, 2012
The Air Jordan Retro Chicago 10s Have Dropped
And The Reviews Are Coming In
“The first big sneaker release of 2012 is almost upon us,” StupidDope wrote on Friday. “In a year that is set to offer a wide array of stellar releases for its ever growing sneaker community, January has already seem a few notable drops. However, none have been more pressing than the City Series favorite Air Jordan 10 ‘Chicago.’ While this classic in the Jordan lineup hasn’t seen the light of day since 1995, tomorrow January 21st marks a great day for JB and sneakerheads alike.
“The Air Jordan 10 ‘Chicago’ is by far one of the rarest in this timeless collection. Laced in white, varsity red and black, the ‘Chicago’ was originally released during the 1994-95 NBA season, one that didn’t see MJ suit up. Nonetheless, this shoe has been worn by countless NBA stars and you can finally get your hands on a pair tomorrow. Check out the finals looks of the Air Jordan 10 ‘Chicago’ and check for them in various retailers tomorrow January 21st for $160 USD.”
Well, the shoes have dropped. Let’s take a look at the reviews.
1. By Syrss: Bow! Swag.
Posted on January 25, 2012
Chicas Furiosa Goes For Threepeat! Ivy King Cup Defense At Stake With Season Premiere At Hand
From Windy City Rollers HQ
Fasten your seat belts, little babies.
This could be a rough ride.
“I want that Cup.”
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The Windy City Rollers, Chicago’s all-female flat-track roller derby league, officially kicks off its eighth home season on Saturday, February 11 at the UIC Pavilion.
In 2011, The Fury skated undefeated to their second consecutive WCR championship, winning the Ivy King Cup. (The ring acceptance ceremony was held at Reggie’s Rock Club.) The slate is clean in 2012 as all four Windy City Rollers home teams gear up to claim this year’s championship.
Fury co-captain Kola Loka has high hopes for another championship win in 2012:
“The Fury had back to back amazing seasons, culminating in the second successive and third time winning the Ivy King Cup. We owe that to the excellent leadership of Ol Drrrty Go-Go and Tori Adore. This year, we have a very new team, having lost six veteran blockers, and are focusing on building the new generation of Chicas Furiosas. We plan on trying out some new strategies, but focusing on good ole hard hitting, fast skating, and fun to watch derby!”
Posted on January 24, 2012