By Jim Coffman

The sports news chasm created by a bye week can only be filled by a smorgasbord of sports. Here are several reports on local franchises in a sort of chronological order:
* The Hawks have given up a total of two goals in their last two home games . . .and lost both.
On Sunday it was the Hawks alumni team, aka the Winnipeg Jets, who came out on top. Former red-sweater-wearer Michael Frolik scored the only goal on the first shift of the game with an assist from fellow former Hawk Andrew Ladd. The home team then had 59 minutes and 40 seconds to even the score. It wasn’t enough.

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Posted on November 3, 2014

By Mike Luce

1. Mike McNeely.
Hero to Gators fans, walk-ons, producers for human-interest story pieces, and “bashiers” everywhere, Mike McNeeley of Florida had a good weekend. He sparked the Gators, 3-3 going into the weekend, to an upset win over rival Georgia in the World’s Largest Cocktail Party by taking a fake field goal off the right edge for a touchdown. To top it off, he worked his usual shift at the local supermarket on Sunday. What a story.

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Posted on November 3, 2014

By Jim Coffman and Steve Rhodes

Cubs could still screw this up. Plus: As The Bulls Turn; Go Ahead, Sleep On The Blackhawks; and The Phil & Marc Show.

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Posted on October 31, 2014

By Mike Luce

It’s Week 10, the first week of the Playoff Committee rankings and we are only a few days away from the first outbreak of full-on hysteria as teams move up and down the charts. Today we’ll make some predictions about the outcome of some of the more critical match-ups:
On Thursday, #2 Florida State notched a win on the road over #25 Louisville. The Seminoles scored a W off the field as well: the lawyer for RB Karlos Williams, the team’s leading rusher, heard from the lawyer of Williams’ alleged victim of domestic battery. The victim’s lawyer informed the Tallahassee Police Department to drop the probe into the incident.

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Posted on October 31, 2014

By Thomas Chambers

When the Internet tells me the four things I should never buy at Trader Joe’s, I listen, even though I’ve never been in a Trader Joe’s.
The ‘net also tells me, as it is wont to do, that the only way I am ever going to meet my obligation to catch up on Game of Thrones, which I have never seen, is to binge watch. Don’t hold me to it, but I promise I will.
This weekend, I will be binging on horse racing, coming to you live and in progress, as this is Breeders’ Cup World Championships weekend. The Thoroughbred racing bacchanal that makes us zombie-like – but always in control – and flexes our wagering muscles, compels us to be the wisest of wiseguys.

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Posted on October 31, 2014

By Carl Mohrbacher

News And NOOOOOOOOOtes
Cue the Michael Jackson, it’s officially bad.
Bad for the Bears anyway, but I’ve got some good news, so let’s take care of a little business before we get doing.
The marketing department has been diligently working towards monetizing our efforts and we’ve begun to have some success.
In addition to the blood and hair donations I’ve been making to the orphanage each week, we’re welcoming a select group of sponsors to this weekly segment.

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Posted on October 30, 2014

By Dan O’Shea

It hasn’t been a good year for fantasy forecasting. As I’ve noted probably too many times, the unexpected has ruled this season, and expert projections have been so wildly off week to week as to be useless.
And that was before Ben Roethlisberger’s Week 8. After his 522 passing yards and six TDs against the Colts, we all just need to fly by the seat of our pants the rest of the way.
I’ll amend that comment: If you actually started Big Ben last week on your fantasy team, I’m going to shut up and listen to what you’re saying the rest of the season. There was absolutely no reason to trust the Pittsburgh QB going into Week 8. He had thrown for more than two TDs only once all season, and in four out of seven weeks had thrown one TD or none. Since passing for 365 yards in Week 1, he had broken 300 yards only once.

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Posted on October 29, 2014

By Mike Luce

1. Army recruits.
Army football recruits, that is. No doubt the Army doesn’t take out regular grunts on a party bus as part of the recruiting pitch.
The Colorado Springs Gazette obtained documents showing that Army “wooed recruits this year with an alcohol-fueled party, a dinner date with female cadets, cash from boosters and VIP treatment on a party bus complete with cheerleaders and a police escort.”
The bus dropped the future cadets at a local bowling alley, where the party began in earnest. After a few frames and more than a few beers, the cheerleaders aboard the bus reportedly spiced up the ride back with some girl-on-girl action.

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Posted on October 27, 2014

By Jim Coffman

Anyone who watched Sunday’s embarrassing 51-23 Bears loss to the Patriots couldn’t help but take note of the offense’s shortcomings. Those first-half failings took their deserved place in the white-hot spotlight after the game.
But if the Bears’ defense and special teams can’t avoid utter incompetence when games go to hell like yesterday’s did in the waning minutes of the second quarter, the offense has no chance.
So here we are with the season already teetering on the edge of irrelevance. If the Bears lose to the Packers when they return from their bye in two weeks, they fall to 3-6 overall and say bye-bye to any chance to contend this season. And even if they miraculously turn themselves around in prime time in Lambeau, they still will have to win six of their last seven games just to finish 10-6 – not bloody likely.

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Posted on October 27, 2014

By Jim Coffman and Steve Rhodes

No more equivocation. Plus: Dennis Rodman Was Drunk All The Time; Worst World Series Ever; Joakim Knee-Ah; Taking The Blackhawks For Granted; Little Big Ten; and Cubs Prepare To Block Their Own Views.

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Posted on October 24, 2014