CBS2’s Jennifer McLogan Reports
Reporting live from America’s last shopping mall.
McLogan asks the tough questions.
A Hollywood ending.
Posted on October 16, 2015
Fantasy Fix: Always Absent Alshon
By Dan O’Shea
One of the biggest fantasy mysteries of this NFL season has been the injury-related one revolving around Bears’ WR Alshon Jeffery. Jeffery hasn’t played since Week 1, though by appearances he has been nearly a game-time decision in each of the last three weeks.
Is it his previous calf injury? A new hamstring injury? Both? We will get no answers from Bears coach John Fox. What it all adds up to is that Jeffery is arguably the biggest fantasy bust among WRs this season.
Judging by his 97% ownership in Yahoo! leagues, fantasy owners are not cutting Jeffery loose just yet (although a lot of them, myself included, have him on the trading block). His high rate of retention has a lot to do with the fact that when he does come back, he is virtually guaranteed to be the Bears’ No. 1 pass target. With Jay Cutler having a better-than-expected campaign, this is no small thing.
Posted on October 15, 2015
Chief Relief; Lion Down On The Job
By Carl Mohrbacher
Good news everybody! The AFC has a team nearly as banged up as the Bears and better yet, they’re massive underachievers!
It was a nice victory for the Chicago Bears and their wide receiving corps of taxi squad recruits.
Given the number of injuries the Bears’ offense has sustained, victory was likely contingent on a thus-far unknown player emerging, seizing the opportunity and shining on the national stage.
Would Marquess Wilson, Bill Bellamy or Burgess Meredith capture the hearts of Chicagoans?
Or would crappy late-game play doom this season to a four-month run of uninterrupted shitness*?
Posted on October 14, 2015
Song Of The Moment: Go, Cubs, Go!
By Steve Rhodes
I’ve actually always liked this song, which I admitted to my friends earlier this season. I’m not sick of it at all.
Written and performed by: Steve Goodman
Released: 1984, as a single.
Length: 2:51
Label: Red Pajamas Records
Album: No Big Surprise, 1994
Posted on October 14, 2015
Upping The Cubs’ Nickname Game
Kiddie Kubs Still Too Kute
With the Cubs advancing to the National League Championship Series, this team needs to up its nickname game to the level befitting a World Series contender. We’ll help.
Kyle Schwarber: Schwarbs – see – seems to be the richest in possibility: We already favor Bam Bam, and Babe is fine too. But let’s play around a little.
* Schwarbsy.
* The Schwarbster.
* The Schwarb Master.
* Charles Schwarb.
* Schwarberry Short Cake.
Posted on October 14, 2015
The Truth About Joe Maddon
By Steve Rhodes
Look, we’ve had a lot of fun around here talking about the magical mysticism of Joe Maddon, but that’s all in fun. In truth, Maddon is neither sprinkling holy water on his lineup cards nor playing hunches. As a sabermetrician, he is in diametrical opposition to hunches. I’d like to see us get it right, so we can understand the truth about the man’s managing.
Instead, even the city’s best sportswriter – by far – has fallen for the latest Cubs myth:
“Who takes out his hottest hitter and replaces him with another rookie and then gets a two-run homer as if it is exactly what he expected to get?” Bernie Lincicome wrote after the Cubs beat the Cards in Game 2 of the NLDS the other night. [“Shaft!” – Tim Willette]
“Manager Joe Maddon, the mad alchemist, that’s who. He shakes his beaker and pronounces today’s brew ready and darned if it isn’t. What has no business being anything is not only good enough, not only remarkable enough but satisfying enough.”
Please.
Posted on October 12, 2015
The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #72: Joe Cub
By Jim Coffman and Steve Rhodes
Manager of the Forever. Plus: Playoff-Bound Bears 10-Point Underdogs; Enough About The Bears, Let’s Talk About The Cubs; The Bears’ Plan; Blackhawks Belabor Banner-Raising; Enough About The Blackhawks, Let’s Talk About The Cubs; and Beer Talk.
Posted on October 9, 2015
Cute Kiddie Cubs Pass Playoff Audition, Cuddle With Champagne, Complicate Feelings
By Steve Rhodes
It’s really not true that the Cubs are no longer cute or lovable. In fact, they’re a little too cute for my taste. Their home runs leave rainbow chemtrails, and unicorn horns burst from their foreheads when they gallop the basepaths. Some of them are barely old enough to legally drink the celebratory Champagne in the clubhouse; others are old enough but too angelic, as if they don’t want to displease their parents, who will be mad enough that their clothes are doused in alcohol, much less their bloodstream. I really wouldn’t want to party with these guys because it’d be all Katy Perry and birthday cake.
It kind of makes me want to vomit.
Posted on October 8, 2015
The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report: Yeezus Christ You Guys
By Carl Mohrbacher
The Agony Of Victory
Aw crap, the Bears just gave everyone hope.
I know it was a fun game and you want to get excited again, but all I can say is: don’t.
Just . . . don’t.
But Cutler came back and the offense looked semi-functional!
Don’t.
Posted on October 8, 2015
If Joe Maddon Were Mayor . . .
Another Beachwood Thought Experiment
* The head of the CTA one day would be the head of CPS the next . . .
* Zoo Day: Animals released into city streets to get residents to relax.
* We’d not only have an elected school board, Chris Coghlan would be on it.
* Aldermen required to wear onesies to city council meetings.
Posted on October 6, 2015