By Eric Emery
I know why you’re here. You’re expecting me to pile on the Bears. But you know what? You can do that yourselves. It’s easy. And it’s yesterday’s news. Here are a few things you couldn’t dream up yourselves, but which are occupying the forefront of my primitive brain.
* In case you weren’t clear on it yet, Chevy trucks and the NFL want you to know that “This Is Our Country.” I counted 16 airings of the Mellencamp jingle on Sunday. I’m still not convinced, though. I didn’t see any plaid shorts.
* Mellencamp’s estate.
* This is our country abroad.
* In other car news, Tiki Barber is starring in a Cadillac commercial with tag line “Life. Liberty. And the Pursuit.” Don’t let the “historically significant” tagline fool you. Much like our forefathers, the Cadillac demographic is filled with old, rich, white landowners.
* ESPN’s MNF announcer: “The Raiders possessed one the best defenses in the NFL.” The Raiders promptly surrendered points on the Seahawks’ first three possessions.
* Later, MNF welcomes ex-Seahawk LB Brian Bosworth to the booth. Fun ensues:
a) Tony Kornheiser names “Stone Cold” as one of his favorite movies.
b) Mike Tirico asks Bosworth if he could beat up players-turned-action heroes in real life.
c) Bosworth calls current NFL players the real “action heroes.” Due to Bosworth’s undeniable charisma, firemen, policemen, and soldiers agree.
d) Bosworth recounts his “rivalry” with Bo Jackson. If playing 24 games and being plowed over in one game and running 30 yards behind Jackson in another makes a rivalry, I have a deep rivalry with Las Vegas oddsmakers.
* For all you haters out there: Last Week: 4-2/Overall: 17-33-2. Two winning weeks in a row. Credit Rahm Emanuel’s brilliant strategizing. Here are this week’s most over- and under-hyped games.
Over-hyped: Washington at Philadelphia
With a loss, Washington effectively falls out of playoff contention, making this the second “must-win” game in a row for the ‘Skins. Last week they won.
The Eagles, meanwhile, have hit the skids, having lost three in a row.
Still: Washington just delayed the inevitable last week. They play a rested Philadelphia team this week, and Dallas at home does not equal Philadelphia on the road. Don’t believe the hype. The Eagles win easily.
Pick: Philadelphia minus-7/Under 43.5
Under-hyped: San Diego at Cincinnati
San Diego looks for the inside track to a No. 2 seed in the AFC; the Bengals try to stay in the thick of things.
Other story lines include: “Is Marty Schottenheimer a great coach who will lead his team to an early playoff exit?” and “Has Marvin Lewis transformed Cincinnati from a team with no discipline and talent to a team with no discipline and above average talent?”
This is the game to watch. LaDainlan Tomlinson makes the difference.
Pick: San Diego minus-1.5 points/Over 46.5
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For more Emery, see the Kool-Aid archive, and the Over/Under archive. He can be contacted at Eric_Emery12345@yahoo.com. Or berate him publicly.
Posted on November 9, 2006