By Marty Gangler
The first Cub Factor of the season could have appeared last week, after the opening three games of the season, but I have to admit I just didn’t know these guys yet.
I still have to say I’m not sure I have my head wrapped around this team.
But we may have already seen the defining play of the season – or at least one that so far sums up the 2011 Cubs. Let’s take a look.
The main thing to remember here is that Castro really didn’t get hurt. Which is kind of like the first week plus of the season. The Cubs really didn’t get hurt.
Okay, two-fifths of the starting rotation got hurt but I’m not talking about that.
I mean, it could have been worse. The poor kid could have broke his jaw in three places – just like the Cubs could have started the season 2-7 and dug themselves a hole they’d never get out of.
And on that flip side, the ball could have smacked Starlin in the jaw and ricocheted back into his glove where he then slapped the tag on the runner becoming one of the most talked about plays in major league history – just like the Cubs could have gone 9-0 to start the season, which would have been also truly amazing.
But no. The Cubs’ greatest hope for the future just looked really stupid by catching a ball with his face. Just like the Cubs looked really stupid to start the season by blowing a few late leads, kicking the ball around, and somehow getting the two youngest pitchers in the rotation hurt in less than eight innings each.
I’m hoping that this example of the first week of the season was just that – an example of the first week of the season – not an example of the entire season. But who am I kidding, maybe I need a Rawlings in the face at 90 mph to remind me that these are the Cubs.
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Week in Review: The Cubs went 4-5 to start the season, losing two of three to the Pirates and Brewers and winning two of three from the D-Backs. But they seem to be really trying hard and that counts for something. Maybe there should be some kind of extra point given for that, like in hockey when you tie and lose – which by the way is really lame. So yeah, they were 4-5.
Week in Preview: The Cubs continue on the road for three each against the Astros and Rockies. Hey, at least there are night games and us working folk can see what they look like a little better. Yeah, its early in the season and I’m reaching.
The Second Basemen Report: How cool is it that The Second Basemen Report will never die? It’s like the Terminator. You know, the one that was made of liquid metal. I don’t even remember how they killed that Terminator but it was hard to kill.
Jeff Baker and Darwin Barney both started four games each to start the season and Blake DeWitt started the other one. The weird thing is, these guys are all hitting the crap out of the ball – except DeWitt but he had a huge pinch-hit this week.
Carrying this many second basemen is like the Bears having three place kickers – but it’s sure fun for The Second Basemen Report. Just like Jim Hendry drew it up.
In former second basemen news, Ryan Theriot is now the starting shortstop for the St Louis Cardinals and is currently batting .222. Can they really be a contender?
The Zam Bomb: Like a green leaf emerging each spring, Big Z has vowed to be a nice guy like he does every year but unless you are psychic or some kind of plant genius you can’t tell if that green leaf is going to be a tulip or crabgrass. Big Z is holding at apologetic, for now.
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Lost in Translation: Bronxio watchit mega foody is Japanese for Carlos Silva signed this week with the Yankees.
Endorsement No-Brainer: Alfonso Soriano for unmanned drones, because he’s really flying under the radar.
Sweet and Sour Quade: 95% sweet, 5% sour. Mike Quade starts the season happy to be the manager of the Chicago Cubs. And you really can’t say that about the last couple guys. And just like your smart, well-adjusted uncle, Mike helped old lady Thompson unpack her groceries the other day. Not because he thought she’d pay him back sometime but because it’s what normal nice people do, sheesh.
Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares in Bauer hockey masks traded higher this week on speculation they will be making a baseball version for shortstops.
Over/Under: Number of times Cubs fans will look at the Astros lineup and say, we are really losing to these guys? +/- 4,653.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that there will be a ton of games determined by just one pitch with these guys all season.
The Cub Factor: Unlike Soriano, you can catch ’em all!
The White Sox Report: Know the enemy.
Get Your Gangler On: Follow Marty on Twitter.
Note For Readers Used To Seeing The Mount Lou Alert System Here: When manager Mike Quade shows any signs of, well, really anything abnormal, we will be all over it with some kind of graph or pictorial depiction of whatever it is, but until this guy shows something besides just being a normal, thoughtful, intelligent guy, we got next to nothing on him. We are hoping he shows something and kinda hoping he doesn’t also, know what I mean?
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Posted on April 11, 2011