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Chicago Predicts The Bears Season

Compiled By The Beachwood Crystal Ball Unit

In no particular order.
Rick Morrissey, Sun-Times: 10-6
Rick Telander, Sun-Times: 11-5
Patrick Finley, Sun-Times: 10-6
Jason Lieser, Sun-Times: 12-4
Mark Potash, Sun-Times: 10-6
Jim Coffman, Beachwood Reporter: 11-5
Gritty: 8-8
Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus: 3-13
Joe Maddon: No thanks, that would be outcome bias.
Nicholas Castellanos: Undefeated, winning 16 straight home openers.
Lincoln Yards: If the Bears hurry up, we win it all.


Ted Cruz: 0-16 because black people live there.
John Kass: What did Trump say? I’ll go with that while the left tries to herd votes with emotion, like feeling bad about children separated from their families and locked in cages.
J.B. Pritzker: No thanks, but every win will be taxed fairly.
Lori Lightfoot: I know I said 16-0, but it’s a lot worse than we’d been told so we’re all going to have come together and share the pain with something less than that.
Rahm Emanuel: I’m through making tough decisions, you fuckwits.
Frank Robb: Would you guys stop calling me, christ, get over it!
Richard M. Daley: Parking Meters 16, Chicago 0
Sports Illustrated: 7-9
Football Outsiders: 7.9 – 8.1
Las Vegas: 9.5 – 6.5
Adam Hoge, WGN Radio: 13-3
Pro Football Focus: 8.1 – 7.9
Brad Biggs, Tribune: Win the division, lose to Saints in NFC Championship game. (Tribune writers didn’t predict records.)
Rich Campbell, Tribune: Win the division, lose to the Rams in the NFC Championship game.
Colleen Kane, Tribune: Win the division, lose to the Rams in the NFC Championship game.
Dan Wiederer, Tribune: Win the division, lose to the Eagles or Rams in the first-round divisional game.
Sheil Kapadia, The Athletic: 8-8
The Athletic’s panel of 44 national and local writers and editors: The League’s Most Disappointing Team (and a second-place finish in the division).
Steve Rhodes, Beachwood Reporter: 10-4-2
Alyssa Barbieri, USA Today’s BearsWire: Her prediction is formatted in a game-by-game gallery, so forget it. 0-16 for you.
The Sporting News: 11-5 (a game behind the 12-4 Packers, whom they will lose to in the first round of the playoffs).
J.J. Stankevitz, NBC Chicago: 10-6 (tieing the Vikings, but nabbing a playoff spot; losing to the Eagles in the NFC Championship.
Ed Burke: “I don’t care, but I’d sure like the Bears’ legal business.”
Jenny McCarthy: 0-16. “That team is too vaccinated.”
Hub Arkush, Pro Football Weekly: 11-5 but no Super Bowl.
Arthur Arkush, Pro Football Weekly: 12-4, lose in the Super Bowl to the Patriots.
Eric Olson, DeKalb Daily Chronicle: 10-6, second place.
Kyle Nabors, Northwest Herald: 12-4, lose in Super Bowl to the Chiefs.
J.C. Talon, Pro Football Weekly: 14-2, beat the Chargers to win the Super Bowl.
Sean Hammond, Shaw Media: 11-5ish. Win the division but don’t make the Super Bowl.
Caleb Carter, Shaw Media: 11-5. Win the division but don’t make the Super Bowl.
Jake Bartelson, Shaw Media: 11-5. Win the division but don’t make the Super Bowl.

Comments welcome.

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Posted on September 5, 2019