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Carl’s Cubs Mailbag: Seriously, Cubs . . .

By Carl Mohrbacher

Looks like the Cubs are going to be sellers at the trading deadline. Who’s on the block?
-Brock, Rockford IL
Who isn’t?
But the main move in the works is a classic “too little, too late” trade between the Cubs and Giants aimed at pacifying an angry fan base: Whoever the Giants want in return for Mark DeRosa.
Seriously, Cubs . . .
-@tomnation2323, via Twitter
As an insurance measure due in part to a recent string of robberies of time and money, Cubs customers are now requiring the Ricketts family to issue a $1.50 rebate check for every ticket transaction in 2011.


Do any Cubs smoke?
-Lil’ Shirley, Ideal GA
Other than former Cub Mark Grace, none that I know of.
However, in an effort to generate new streams of revenue the Cubs are preparing to launch their own brand of cigarettes, Cubbie Strikes.
White boarded tag lines include “Infinite patience, infinite flavor” and the Lou Piniella inspired “Breathe fire like a dragon!”
I used to like Peter Gammons, but then he made those comments about Wrigley being a “dump” on The Score. You lie, dick!
-Tom R, Chicago IL
Here is an excerpt of the interview with Gammons from the June 10th Mully & Hanley Show.
“It’s a dump, Wrigley Field . . . there’s a ton of money that has to go into rebuilding that place.”
First, the real dump is that cemetery just south of intersection of Irving Park and Clark where Cubs fans dump their garbage and urine on the way back to the car we parked at a gas station. Second, Gammons’ claim is mathematically incorrect.
A dollar weighs one gram and there are about 454 grams in a pound, so a pound of dollars is worth $454. This means that the estimated $200 million needed to bring Wrigley up to code would weigh 44,052 pounds, about 42,000 more pounds than “a ton.”
Is there something wrong with Carlos Marmol?
-Mark, Buffalo Grove IL
His slider is flat . . . like jo mama!

Send your questions and comments to Carl!

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Posted on June 16, 2011