By The Beachwood Tout Division
Our staff of derelicts and drunks brings you the odds and comments you need to make the Kentucky Derby pay off for you this weekend. Odds via the Daily Racing Form.
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Big Brown, 3-1: Don’t believe the hype. There’s no way a UPS truck can outclass a field like this.
Colonel John, 4-1: Too M*A*S*H-y.
Pyro, 6-1: Deep down we like this firestarter, but in the end too self-destructive.
Gayego, 15-1: A fun name to scream while drunk. Put this fella in your trifecta box.
Z Fortune, 15-1: Yes, we like. Robby Albarado is on top and we wanna party with him.
Monba, 15-1: This horse runs a dull race. Too middle-of-the-pack.
Tale of Ekati, 15-1: Too literary.
Eight Belles, 20-1: Too Southern. If he was Eight Balls, then maybe.
Cool Coal Man, 20-1: Too self-conscious, like faux hipsters playing Johnny Cash on the jukebox.
Cowboy Cal, 20-1: Put Cal in your trifecta box with Gayego and Z Fortune. Put Gayego and Z Fortune in your exacta box. Bet Cowboy Cal to win, and make place bets on all three. Scale your betting amounts accordingly.
Visionaire, 20-1: We like this horse, but not quite enough. Maybe a stray show bet.
Bob Black Jack, 20-1: A sprinter that could battle Visionaire for third.
Smooth Air, 20-1: Another nice middle-of-the-pack horse that could surprise. Take a gander in the paddock.
Court Vision, 20-1: All the best names will finish in the middle.
Denis of Cork, 20-1: Too jokey, and we’re not impressed that his only loss was the Illinois Derby. The Illinois Derby?
Recapturetheglory, 20-1: He won the Illinois Derby. So.
Adriano, 30-1: Too precious.
Anak Nakal, 30-1: Trained by Nick “Barry” Zito. Not a good year for Zitos.
Z Humor, 30-1: No.
Big Truck, 50-1: Will beat out Z Humor to avoid last place finish.
Posted on May 2, 2008