By Tom Latourette
Goodbye to Lou and this year’s Cubs
Been swept again by another West Coast club
Now there’s no joy in Wrigley Field
Another playoff year is sealed
Maybe that goat curse is real
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Goodbye Dempster, with all your talk
You couldn’t buy a strike through seven walks
Then you gave up one big grand slam
Could hear a pin drop in the stands
Only silence from the fans
We had joy, we had fun
Another season in the sun
There’s a bone in our throats
It’s the hundredth year we’ve choked
Goodbye Cubs brass, you had a priest
Sprinkle holy water on the players’ seats
Perhaps he should have doused their gloves
Four errors was enough
No help from the man above
Goodbye Kosuke, you’re on the bench
Where there’s a filthy foul and putrid stench
Soriano sitting there
I smell Aramis in the air
A four-hit turd is all they share
We had joy, we had fun
Another post-season is done
We’ve lost nine in a row
Won’t be singing “Go, Cubs, Go!”
We had hope for this team
But they shattered all our dreams
Eddie Vedder we will flay
Won’t be going all the way
Goodbye Ronnie, this ain’t your year
No more Frosty Malts and no more beer
Without the bleachers we’re just bums
Has this franchise made us dumb
Thinking we could overcome
Goodbye to Lou, playoffs you reek
You only need a toothpick in your teeth
One Dusty Baker was enough
You’ve joined the string of losing clubs
The perfect skipper for the Cubs
We had joy, we had fun
One hundred seasons in the sun
But this franchise is cursed
Will ever finish first?
We had joy, but we suck
Another season, what the ?
And to add to our shame, the cursed White Sox won a game
Don’t you know any team
Can have a bad century
And when next year is done
We’ll be on 101
We had joy, we had fun
One hundred seasons in the sun
We’ve lost nine in a row
Won’t be singing “Go, Cubs, Go!”
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Also from the Beachwood Sports Parody Desk:
* Eddie Elia
* Please Stop Believin’
* 99 Years of Cub Losses
* Blame It On Bartman
* We Can’t Wait 100 Years
* Dusty Must Get Fired
* Let’s Call The Crosstown Off!
* Louuuuu!
* Ode to Ozzie
* The 12 Days of Cubness
* The Hester Man Can!
* I’m Sammy
* Calendar Bears
Posted on December 30, 2008