Chicago - A message from the station manager

Rahm’s Plan C

Another Beachwood Special Report


The Beachwood has learned, however, that Rahm is also working on Plans C through Z. To wit:
* Hold the school board hostage for $1 million $6 billion.
* Sell naming rights to all CPS kids.
* Welcome to the world’s first all-online school district!
* CPS kids work off pension debt as Aramark janitors.
* Make Winnetka a Sister City and ask to borrow some money to go to the mall.


* Sell the whole city to George Lucas and let him worry about it.
* Introducing Schools in Space!
* Kickstarter.
* First National Bank of Chiraq.
* Let it all ride on Papa’s Mustache in the fourth.
* CPS CEO for a Day Auction, starting with J.B. Pritzker and Ken Griffin.
* CPSAfterDark.com.
* Use the New Math!
* Tell Indiana to “Look over there!” and swipe the dough out of their till.
* Strip like the rest of us when we need cash.
* Introducing CPS CEO Kevin Trudeau!
* Chicago Pepsi Schools.
* Close down the Central Office 15 more times.
* School-based casinos.
* David Vitale/Billy Corgan dunk tank.
* Seize the Daley family’s assets and call it civil forfeiture.
* Marry a rich city.
* Call in that Taylor Swift chit.
* Sell off that stupid Picasso.

Comments welcome.

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Posted on July 2, 2015