The Democrats, Episode 10

The Beachwood Mystery Debate Theater team did not meet at Beachwood HQ for the New Hampshire double-header on Saturday night. But we did end up covering it.
Earlier in the day.
Steve: There are two debates tonight, but I just don’t think I have the strength or time to cope with it. I’ve got a lot of other things to do.
Tim: Me too.
Debate starts. Steve calls Tim.
Steve: This sucks. There’s no way I can not watch this. I’m really getting a lot done and I’d prefer to have some dumb sci-fi flick on in the background, you know?
Tim: I know! Son of Svengoolie is having Son of Frankenstein tonight!

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Posted on January 7, 2008

The Republicans, Episode 8

The Beachwood Mystery Debate Team did not meet at Beachwood HQ for the New Hampshire double-header on Saturday night.
Earlier in the day.
Steve: There are two debates tonight, but I just don’t think I have the strength or time to cope with it. I’ve got a lot of other things to do.
Tim: Me too.
Debate starts.
Steve: This sucks. There’s no way I can not watch this. I’m really getting a lot done and I’d prefer to have some dumb sci-fi flick on in the background, you know?
Tim: I know! Son of Svengoolie is having Son of Frankenstein tonight!

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Posted on January 7, 2008

By The Beachwood Mystery Debate Theater Affairs Desk

The Beachwood Mystery Debate Theater team of Tim Willette and Steve Rhodes gathered at Beachwood HQ to watch the Iowa Caucus returns come in. Has the media been voted out yet?
*
Pre-Caucus E-Mail Exchange
Tim to Steve: We should make up our own pointless rules about caucusing as we go. “Little known fact: bald men get two votes.”
Appended:
After a Hillary Clinton appearance in Ames this week, for instance, one of her local precinct captains – whose job it is to corral and organize his or her candidate’s supporters on caucus night – said he frequently hears from Hillary backers who have, well, absolutely no clue what’s expected of them.
“They’re like, ‘Do I have to do something? Do I have to give a speech?'” he said. The next day, a local field organizer recounted the same experience, groaning: “These people don’t even know what a caucus is!” He wasn’t exaggerating: At one campaign’s focus group, the Iowans present asked whether the exercise they were engaged in was the actual caucus.
– “The Mechanics of Caucusing,” The New Republic

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Posted on January 4, 2008

By Kenzo Shibata

Those of us who are junkies for The Wire are familiar with the cute portmanteau “COMPSTAT” (Comparative+Statistics). On the show, this was the program implemented by the Baltimore City Police Department that was intended to reduce the crime rate by targeting the city’s bleakest sections. The premise was simple: District commanders (and consultants) would hold regular meetings where they looked at crime statistics in their respective areas and developed strategies to combat the epidemic.
Instead of these meetings being used for strategic purposes, though, they amounted to district commanders berating their respective precinct commanders over the high level of homicides in particular areas of the city. The immense pressure put on the precinct commanders led to what was described pejoratively as “juking the stats,” or fudging the numbers. Particular crimes would be reclassified and dates would change on toe tags.

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Posted on January 3, 2008

By Doug Dobmeyer

At the end of 2007, unsolved funding issues still exist in Illinois. While the city has addressed theirs with tax and fee hikes, the county and state are still milling around looking for a solution.
The state has implied the only way to solve fixing our roads, bridges and addressing mass transit is to expand gambling in a massive way. The proposed expansion would bring a huge casino of 4,000 positions to Chicago, two more casinos to other areas, the creation of race tracks as mini-casinos with slot machines, and Internet gambling, among other items.
The solution seems to be to move the people living in and visiting Illinois to be individual economic machines producing money to oil the wheels of government. In 1999, when casino gambling started in Illinois, 6.7 million patrons lost an average of $61.97 per visit to a casino. By 2006 (the last year statistics are available), the-then 16.1 million gambling patrons were losing an average of $118.88 per visit. The casinos are doing very well and patrons are not.
Now Illinois wants to exploit that number by increasing the number of the gambling public and how much they lose. Despite a threat of over-saturating the market, they have so little regard for our citizens and visitors the state says they must have more gamblers. Why?

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Posted on December 24, 2007

By The Beachwood Accountability Affairs Desk

At a ceremony for police officers graduating from the academy on Tuesday, Richard M. Daley once again issued his familiar canard that the media only reports negative stories about the police department.
This is not only demonstrably false, it’s an out-and-out lie.
We went back in the archives of our very own Cate Plys’s fine work and pulled this column she once wrote for the Sun-Times to show just how long the mayor has been spouting this pernicious crap. Someone has to call him on it, and if it’s us, so be it.
*
Bad News Isn’t No News
Chicago Sun-Times
June 9, 2000
By Cate Plys
This is an amazing Chicago story of courage and tenacity. It’s also a mystery. As you read, see if you can spot the bad guys:
Last January, a mother and four children were trapped behind a locked security door in a burning building. The desperate father begged Police Officer Lyzette David to save his family.
Despite the intense heat, David and officers Ricardo Colon, Rick Nigro and Erick VonKondrat managed to bend the door’s bottom half enough to let the family crawl underneath. At Wednesday’s City Council meeting, Mayor Daley and the Council honored the four officers, along with firefighters who saved two victims of another fire.
Did you spot the bad guys? It’s the press, of course. A little Council history will enlighten you.

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Posted on December 20, 2007

By Bethany Lankin

To the tune of “Angels We Have Heard on High”
Oprah in the public eye –
Please remember ol’ Wes Clark.
Madonna was his best ally.
Barack will sink like the Bismarck.

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Posted on December 18, 2007

By Tom Latourette

Oh, Patti just sold a home for the holidays
‘Cause her husband is governor of this state
When you need steady income
From a lobbyist
For the holidays, just sell some real estate

Patti Just Sold A Home For The Holidays

She met a man named Tony Rezko
And he’s in jail for solicitating
kickbacks from the FBI
Her friend Anita’s been indicted for
2 million out the door
They helped raise funds for their campaigns
Now they’re paying for their Champagne

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Posted on December 12, 2007

By The Beachwood Oprah Affairs Desk

Oprah: Self-involved narcissist whose cult-like followers think she is divine.
Obama: Self-involved narcissist whose cult-like followers think he is divine.
Oprah: Chicago institution who never challenges Chicago institutions.
Obama: Chicago institution who never challenges Chicago institutions.
Oprah: Gives away cars to audience members.
Obama: Used car salesman.

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Posted on December 11, 2007

By The Beachwood Police Forum Notification Affairs Desk

City officials are expected to be in attendance
WHAT: Public Forum: “Police Interaction with Communities of Color: Profiling, Contact and Force.”
WHEN: 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13.
WHERE: Jane Addams Hull House Association, 1030 W. Van Buren, Chicago.
WHO:
* Clyde Murphy, Executive Director of the Chicago Lawyer’s Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, Inc.
* Author David Harris, University of Toledo School of Law Professor.

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Posted on December 7, 2007