Chicago - A message from the station manager

Blago’s Next Moves

By Scott Buckner and Steve Rhodes

Sources say.
* Discloses he was just going to read passages from Moby Dick if he actually was called to the stand.
* Drives to Terre Haute federal pen just to moon George Ryan.
* Dinner with Ozzie Guillen.
* Forms book club with Carlos Zambrano and Billy Dec.
* Replaces Criss Angel on Mindfreak.


* Orders 5 million pencils from Office Max for November write-in campaign.
* Feeds tidbit to Sneed about the family dog.
* Signs up as new spokesman for Hair Club For Men ad campaign: “Hair Is Fucking Golden and You Can Be, Too!”
* Hires Peter Francis Geraci to handle bankruptcy and stiff his creditors, including the Adams’.
* Visits White House with winning defense team to pose with president.
* Presses hair into wet cement at his Hollywood Star ceremony.
* This time Trump appears on his reality show, Celebrity Defendant.
* Proposes Ground Zero Liberty Museum.
* Starts teaching “How To Beat The Rap” at the Learning Annex.
* Continues to ignore his brother.
* Rolls Lincoln over in his grave just for fun.
* Goes as self for Halloween.
* Stars in new reality show where contestants compete to be the next holdout juror.

Comments welcome.

1. From Beachwood Mark:
* In talks to pair up with George Ryan for a relaunched version of At The Movies.
* Angling for the open third-base coaching job for the Cubs – has experience making tough decisions for a losing organization (State of Illinois).
* Ghostwriting Roeper’s S-T column – has experience working only a few hours a week.
* Taping new Magic Bullet infomercial with Patti – guests gathered around the Blago kitchen island will include Patrick Fitzgerald, Tony Rezko, Sam Adam, Jr., and an Elvis impersonator. Patti won’t actually do any of the mixing.
* Getting cash on the spot from Victory Auto Wreckers after his car door falls off in the street outside his house.

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Posted on August 23, 2010