By The Beachwood Truth In Sentencing Affairs Desk
Maybe Rod Blagojevich and his lawyers are right; prison isn’t appropriate punishment for our distinguished ex-governor. Here are some alternative sentences that just might better fit his crimes.
* Sentenced to actually love the people of Illinois – one person at a time.
* Sentenced to actually playing all the tapes as part of an NPR pledge drive.
* Sentenced to actually read his book. Maybe on the air as part of an NPR pledge drive.
* Sentenced to one winter camping out with Occupy Chicago. Feds would love it because it punishes the protestors too.
* Sentenced to a lifetime as Dick Mell’s son-in-law. Oh, wait . . .
* Sentenced to two years of being Governor of Illinois.
* Sentenced to two years of diagramming sentences.
* Sentenced to two years as Judge James Zagel’s butler.
* Sentenced to two months as Rahm Emanuel’s butler.
* Sentenced to read every Richard Roeper column from the past five years.
* Sentenced to be Billy Corgan’s new bass player.
* Sentenced to read all the assigned chapters he never read in law school.
* Sentenced to apologize to all the people of Illinois – one person at a time.
– Tim Willette, Thomas Chambers, Steve Rhodes
Comments welcome.
Posted on December 7, 2011