Scariest Holiday Ever
Boo.
* Pat Quinn going as governor.
* Bill Daley was going to go as a candidate for U.S. senate or governor, but decided to stay home instead.
* Joe Berrios going as himself – can’t think of anything scarier.
* Sheila Simon going as herself – a ghost.
* Bruce Rauner going as Rahm Emanuel – and vice versa.
* Ventra going as Obamacare.
* Winter Divvy going as Ventra.
* Richard M. Daley staying home because he doesn’t remember it’s Halloween or what Halloween even is. Plus, teaching at Harvard the next day and wants to be fresh.
* Kirk Dillard going as the Tea Party this year but next year he’ll go back to his traditional costume as a Moderate.
* Stephanie Neely going as Lieutenant Governor.
* Toni Preckwinkle going as a mayoral candidate just to fuck with everyone.
* Bob Fioretti going as mayor just to see how it feels.
* Michael Madigan would not comment.
* Steve Brown going as Michael Madigan.
* Lisa Madigan going to dad’s house as governor just to scare him, then going home.
* Ed Burke going as his state supreme court justice wife. Robe has to be back by midnight.
* Rod Blagojevich going as Elvis to Cell Block D party, will likely get beat up.
* Barack Obama will stay in and get reports from the NSA about what everybody is wearing.
* Mark Kirk planning his 2016 costume as Kirk Dillard.
* Dick Durbin spending the night at home on Facebook.
* Barbara Byrd-Bennett will stay home and steal candy from every kid who comes to her door.
* Forrest Claypool will trick-or-treat as Forrest Claypool.
* Bloomingdale Trail will go as The 606.
* Jon Burge, Bernie Madoff and Jesse Jackson Jr. will be attending the same party.
* ADM, Boeing, Sears, DePaul to go as vampires.
* Garry McCarthy was going to go as the police chief, but Rahm wouldn’t let him.
* Ben Joravsky to go as a TIF district. He’s the only one who truly knows what they really look like.
* Tribune editorial board to go as your parents.
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Comments welcome.
Posted on October 30, 2013