The Beachwood Mindset Affairs Desk
“Each August for the past decade, as faculty prepare for the academic year, Beloit College in Wisconsin has released the Beloit College Mindset List. Its 70 items provide a look at the cultural touchstones that have shaped the lives of today’s first-year students.
“Most of the students entering College this fall, members of the Class of 2011, were born in 1989. For them, Alvin Ailey, Andrei Sakharov, Huey Newton, Emperor Hirohito, Ted Bundy, Abbie Hoffman, and Don the Beachcomber have always been dead.
“They’ve never ‘rolled down’ a car window, and to them Jack Nicholson is mainly known as the guy who played ‘The Joker.’
“As usual, they remind their elders how quickly time has passed. For them Pete Rose has never been in baseball. Abbie Hoffman’s always been dead. Johnny Carson has never been live on TV, and Nelson Mandela has always been free.”
Which is all very interesting, but not exactly scientific. For that, the good folks at Beachwood Laboratories have sprung into action and divined their own Mindset List for the Class of 2011.
1. Michael Jackson has always been a white man.
2. O.J. Simpson has always been famous because he’s a double-murderer.
3. Ralph Nader has always just been some dude running for president.
4. American cities are sometimes wiped out by hurricanes, and bridges fall down.
5. All presidents are named Bush or Clinton
6. The richest man in America has always worn a sweater.
7. Oprah has always had a book club.
8. The Real World has always been on, but it’s never been as good as it used to be.
9. Flavor Flav has always been a cable-TV star.
10. The Daily Show has always been “the news,” and the Onion has always been “the newspaper.”
Posted on August 28, 2007