Another Beachwood Special Report
Starting in Chicago.
The Beachwood has an exclusive preview:
* The Art Institute Lions: “Bob ROHR-man!”
* The Picasso: “Good statues copy, great statues speak.”
* The Bean: “Don’t touch me.”
* Crown Fountain: “Hey kid, do you want some candy?”
* Miro’s Chicago: “I’m surreal too!”
* John Altgeld: “But I don’t want to be a housing project!”
* Abraham Lincoln: “No, it’s not smartphone neck. I’m just shakin’ my head over Illinois.”
* The Wrigley Field Noodle: “I’m a noodle, what am I doing here.”
* Jack Brickhouse: “I’d rather be at Wrigley.”
* Oz Park’s Tin Man: “Oil can! Oil can!”
* Batcolumn: “I’m Batcolumn.”
* The Michael Jordan: “I’m still better than LeBron. Also, where are all the women?”
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But why stop at statues? Other parts of Chicago should be allowed to speak too.
* Every Parking Meter Pay Box: “Exxxcellent.”
* The Wrigley Urinals: “I hate myself and want to die.”
* The Principal’s Phone at Payton Prep: “Rauner used me!”
* Ed Burke’s Phone: “He acts like I’m bugged!”
* The Walls of the Mayor’s Office: “It’s ten times worse than you think it is.”
Contributing: Tim Willette, Natasha Julius, Tom Chambers, Steve Rhodes
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Comments welcome.
Posted on July 22, 2015