By The Beachwood Crystal Ball Affairs Desk
A preview of 2007.
* First political offspring to be promoted to mysteriously resigned political office: Glenna White-Jones, daughter of Secretary of State Jesse White.
(Amy Blagojevich, 10; Annie Blagojevich, 3; Malia Obama, 7; and Sasha Obama, 5; are being groomed for 2016, 2030, 2024, and 2034.)
* Number of major league starts by Mark Prior: 6.
* Number of times Todd Stroger is consulted on important Cook County decisions: 0.
* Date of Rod Blagojevich’s indictment: November 17.
* Number of points Bears lose first playoff game by: 14.
* First celebrity breakup: Jim Carrey & Jenny McCarthy.
* Percentage of votes Mayor Daley receives in Mayoral election: 73.
* Number of Bulls playoff victories: 3.
* Month of first story about 40th anniversary of the Summer of Love: February.
* Number of times Tribune editorial board encourages Obama to run for president before endorsing his Republican rival: 3.
* Month of Warner Saunders “surprise” retirement announcement at Channel 5: June.
* Number of joint media appearances by figure skater Sasha Cohen & comedian Sasha Baron Cohen: 0.
* Number of times Todd Stroger will give an incredibly vague and dimwitted answer to a direct question: 742.
* Name of Mary Cheney/Heather Poe offspring: Jerry Lee Cheney-Poe.
* Average number of fans attending White Sox games in May: 18,000.
* Number of times the word “Iraq” appears on the front page of the Sun Times: 10.
* Number of troops in Iraq in December 2007: 130,000.
* Number of times Mayor Daley is “shocked” by corruption news coming out of City Hall: 4.
* Date of first Lou Pinella ejection: April 30.
* Title of Ann Coulter’s next book: Pussies.
* First 2008 Presidential candidate to officially bow out of the race: Chris Dodd.
* Date Chicago Cubs are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs: September 4.
* Number of Michael Richards’ movies: 0.
* Attendance at final Blackhawks home game: 63 (paid).
* Number of times a local weatherman is blamed for bad weather by local anchors: 73.
* Date Jay Mariotti calls for Ken Williams firing: August 6.
* Number of joint media appearances by William Jefferson and William Jefferson Clinton: 0.
* Number of Big Ten schools in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament: 4
* Number of other politicians discovered to have real-estate deals with Tony Rezko: 3
* Lower ERA – Dave Aardmsa or Neal Cotts: Aardsma.
* Number of dustups between David Gregory and Tony Snow: 12.
* Most likely to appear on The Surreal Life: K-Fed.
* Number of games it will take for Lou Pinella to call Aramis Ramirez out for loafing: 4.
* Number of people VP Cheney accidentally shoots in the face: 0. But not because he won’t try.
– Rick Kaempfer, Tim Willette, Marty Gangler, ML Van Valkenburgh, Steve Rhodes
Posted on January 2, 2007