The O’Hare UFO: What It Really Was

By The Beachwood Spinning Disc Shaped Object Affairs Desk

What was that unidentified flying object spotted hovering above Gate C-17 at O’Hare airport recently? A Beachwood investigation has narrowed the list to these 20 possibilities.
– A giant rotating TIF district.
– Dennis FitzSimons’ golden parachute.
– A Starbucks location-scouting drone.
– The Alpha Centauri Outfit collecting their cut.
– Oprah’s ego.

– Barack Obama’s secret campaign headquarters.
– Barack Obama’s space minders checking in on the status of Project Earth.
– Soldier Field on its first mission.
– An alien troop surge.
– Kanye West’s ride.
– The Cubs’ payroll spinning out of control.
– Rod Blagojevich’s space minders delivering further instructions and a bigger comb.
– The Department of Homeland Security picking up all those hair products confiscated by airport security.
– O’Hare’s first blue-light surveillance camera.
– Pat Robertson’s ride.
– A CIA rendition ship.
– The Silver Line.
– ComEd’s new headquarters.
– Ditka.
– George Ryan’s getaway ship.

Permalink

Posted on January 8, 2007