By The Beachwood Public Affairs Desk
JOBS AMERICANS WON’T DO:
1. Work 80 hours a week picking fruit in the Florida heat for $2 a day.
2. Learn the names of their political representatives.
3. Be Naomi Campbell’s personal assistant.
4. Certain wrestling smackdowns.
5. Clean hotel lobby restrooms used by conventioneers for $7/hour.
6. Bat .210 for less than $2 milllion a year.
7. Sacrifice for the public good.
8. Work as an indentured servant in a bleak Southern chicken parts factory alongside children.
9. Fix a speeding ticket for less than $37.95.
10. Pass meaningful immigration reform.
JOBS AMERICANS WILL DO:
1. Spy on fellow citizens.
2. Game show host.
3. Bull semen collection.
4. Human semen donation.
5. Produce Hannity & Colmes.
6. Surrogate motherhood.
7. Manage the Chicago Cubs.
8. Have their lives filmed and ridiculed 24 hours a day.
9. Full body cavity searching.
10. Sell political favors for campaign cash.
Posted on May 16, 2006