By Stephanie B Goldberg
1. Sharon Stone has been threatened with a $1 billion lawsuit by an enterprising lawyer who, amazingly enough, doesn’t represent the audiences who lost four hours of their lives sitting through Catwoman and Basic Instinct II. According to the New York Post, attorney Ming Hai is acting on behalf of 1,000 Chinese earthquake victims who were offended by Stone’s remark at the Cannes Film Festival that the earthquake that killed 55,000 people was karmic retribution for human rights violations.
2. What’s it like to apply mascara during an earthquake? Possibly something like the effect supplied by Lancome’s vibrating PowerMascara, a bargain at $35. In a stroke of marketing genius, the limited edition was available for one day only and sold out by 6 a.m., because there just aren’t enough sharp moving objects women can put near their eyes.
3. Which leads us logically to Pete Wentz, a man who wears mascara and was terrified by LA’s recent earthquake The expectant father and husband of Ashlee Simpson (not to be confused with Ali Lohan) has announced that he will be bringing his child along on tour because “it’s a really awesome environment for kids.” From Wentz’s point of view, anything must be better than growing up Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III in Wilmette.
4. Of course, a vibrating mascara might also be popular at Swingfest 08, billed as the world’s largest swingers party, now in progress at the Westin Diplomat in Hollywood, Fla. We wonder if GOP operative Roger Stone and one-time swinging U.S. Senate candidate Jack Ryan will be in attendance.
5. A more imaginative venue for swinging is the Vimy War Memorial in France, which honors 3,598 Canadian soldiers slain in WWI. Or so Alain Robillard and Jackie Boldoduc must have thought when they used the site as a backdrop for filming their sexual escapades. Convicted of sexual exhibitionism and desecrating a monument by a French court, the couple was given a four-month suspended sentence and fined one Euro as reparation to the Canadian government, plus 1,000 Euros for tax evasion.
Posted on August 1, 2008