Plus: Gentrified Jerk, Pepsi-Flavored Cheetos
1. Jerky Boys.
“The Hillshire Brands Co. said Tuesday that it will acquire the maker of Golden Island jerky products,” AP reports.
Why? Because they know jerky.
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2. The Charcoal Donut.
“A leading human rights group has called on Dunkin’ Donuts to withdraw a ‘bizarre and racist’ advertisement for chocolate doughnuts in Thailand that shows a smiling woman with bright pink lips in blackface makeup,” the Washington Post reports.
“The Dunkin’ Donuts franchise in Thailand launched a campaign earlier this month for its new ‘Charcoal Donut’ featuring the image, which is reminiscent of 19th and early 20th century American stereotypes for black people that are now considered offensive symbols of a racist era.
“In posters and TV commercials, the campaign shows the woman with a shiny jet black, 1950s-style beehive hairdo holding a bitten black doughnut alongside the slogan: ‘Break every rule of deliciousness.’
“Human Rights Watch said it was shocked to see an American brand name running an advertising campaign that would draw ‘howls of outrage’ if released in the United States.”
Also, “Charcoal Donut” is not a winning product name.
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3. Why We Can’t Get Enough Fried Chicken.
“Had you placed a bet a decade or two ago on what would be the ‘It’ dish of 2013, would you have put your money on fried chicken?” the Wall Street Journal reports.
“Old-fashioned, hard to eat, messy to cook, downmarket and déclassé, it once seemed to belong to the South – and not in a good way. Yet now, against all odds, this old-school classic is trending feverishly.”
Even chicken gets gentrified.
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4. Can There Only Be One Giordano’s?
“One of the city’s best-known pizza chains is suing to force a suburban delicatessen to slice the word ‘Giordano’ out of its name,” Crain’s reports.
“Two entities that operate the Chicago-based Giordano’s Famous Chicago Pizza empire filed a trademark-infringement lawsuit yesterday against a venture that runs an establishment in Downers Grove called Giordano Fresh & Crispy Pizza Co.
“The new deli’s use of Giordano in its name, menus and on signage at its outlet ‘has caused confusion and is likely to continue to cause confusion in the marketplace,’ Giordano’s Famous said in a complaint filed in U.S. District Court in Chicago.
“On Aug. 26, for example, a customer ordered a pizza online from Giordano’s Famous but accidentally picked it up from Giordano Fresh & Crispy, according to the lawsuit. A Giordano’s Famous franchise is located two miles from Giordano Fresh & Crispy, the complaint says.
“The customer later complained to Giordano’s Famous that the smaller firm’s pie ‘was horrible’ before realizing the mistake, the complaint says.”
In a separate lawsuit, people are alleged to be idiots.
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5. Mighty Wings.
“What better way for the world’s biggest restaurant chain to try and raise sales than by adding Americans’ favorite protein, chicken, to the menu – actually, adding chicken wings, to be precise,” NASDAQ.com reports.
“And that’s what McDonald’s intends to do when the company rolls out its new ‘Mighty Wings’ on September 9, with total U.S. coverage by September 24.
“And though one might roll their eyes at the burger joint’s newest offering, one has to realize that Americans consume more chicken than any other country in the world; the U.S. consumes 83.6 pounds of chicken per capita, shelling out $70 billion in 2011.
“Chicken is an enormous segment of the U.S. food industry, and it appears as though McDonald’s intends to increase its exposure . . . The National Chicken Council estimated that more than 13.5 billion chicken wings (which comes to over 3 billion pounds of chicken) were marketed as wings in 2012 – and that’s not counting the wings sold that were attached to the whole bird. Of those 13.5 billion wings, an estimated 9.5 billion wings (2.2 billion pounds) were sold via foodservice channels.”
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6. Count Chocula And Frankenberry Are Back, Bitches.
Reformulated into chicken.
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7. Double Stuf Oreos Are A Lie.
A kids’ version of padded bras.
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8. McDonald’s Is Selling A Squid Ink-Dyed, Black Bunned Burger In China.
From leftover Mac parts.
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9. Pepsi-Flavored Cheetos Hit Japan’s Supermarket Shelves.
Will there be a diet version?
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10. Restaurant Drive-Thru Power Washing.
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Comments welcome.
Posted on September 4, 2013